Was it a mistake to pursue a nursing career?

Nurses Career Support

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Hey everyone, I am currently deciding on whether or not to apply to NS. I will have completed all my BSN prereqs in about 6 weeks and will have to apply in a month. I chose to go to school for nursing after my mom lost her 2.5 year long battle with cancer. I did my share of taking care of her even though I feel guilty I didn't do more. I felt great reward being there for her. It was the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to do but I compartmentalized and emptied her catheter bag, made her doc appts, and took her to and from chemo. Being a "parent" to your own parent at 16 was very challenging. Her oncology nurses inspired me to be like them... so giving and kind. I also decided I wanted to go into nursing because it was a respected field, I could make enough money to support myself, and I could hopefully change the lives of others like the great oncology nurses did for ours. All of my dads family is in the medical field and my mom was a pharm. rep. it just seemed destined for me to go. I was always so sure that's where i was headed. I went straight to school after graduating without a doubt that's what I would be doing for the rest of my life. However, in shadowing nurses in the hospital I have realized that I may not be able to do this. I am having horrible flashbacks of my mom being in the hospital, I'm starting to see her dying again. I'm 20 now. It's been almost 3 years since she's passed. I told my dads family nursing may not be for me and I might as well should have told them I murdered someone... with that being said I have no support in changing majors. I want to do nursing because I don't ever want there to be another 16 year or really anyone feeling like they are alone in grief. I want to do this for the patients so they know someone cares. Is that not a nurses responsibility? Did I just encounter gracious onc. Nurses? Has anyone else experienced emotional trauma with nursing? How did you overcome it? Should I look at other careers, and if so what?

To start, I am so, so sorry about the loss of your mom, and I really admire how you assisted with her care at such a young age. Losing a parent is tragic no matter how old you get, but that is something no teenager should ever have to experience. Your maturity and desire to care from others are so apparent through your post. I'm also so sorry that you feel as though your family isn't supporting you as you make this decision. Your feelings of grief and PTSD seem entirely appropriate given the circumstances, and it's awful to feel like you're going through that without family support.

Here's the thing about nursing: As people who are inherently in tune to caring for others, we often risk sacrificing our own wellbeing in the care of others, and that quickly leads to compassion fatigue and burnout. Just like they say on the airplane, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before putting one on your seatmate. You need to take care of yourself in order to care for others, which may mean stepping away from your nursing goals (either temporarily or permanently).

Only you can decide what is right for you, but from your post it sounds like this might not be the right time for you to start nursing school, and that's ok. Nursing school is mentally, physically and emotionally taxing even without the additional stressors that you've described. I know it's tough because you have already done your pre-reqs. However, nursing school will always be there if you change your mind.

In the meantime, I'd like to gently suggest that you reach out to your campus mental health resources. It sounds like you're processing a lot of grief right now (greiving the loss of your mom, the loss of your anticipated nursing career, and the loss of support from your family). Given all that you've described, feeling grief is a completely appropriate response, and I want you to know that support is available! You don't have to go through it alone. Through therapy, you may also be able to develop strategies so that the hospital setting is less triggering to you in case you do decide to pursue a career in nursing.

In addition, perhaps you could reach out to your academic advising department to regroup and get suggetions about alternative career pathways. There are many other nursing-adjacent medical fields where you can still have profound impact on the wellbeing of others without being in a hospital environment. One that comes to mind is social work (social workers fill many roles, including therapists/counselors), and I'm sure there are many others.

Nursls21

45 Posts

Thank you so much. You have really given me a lot to think about. I am in the process of seeking out grief therapy as well as advising for another career option. You are right, nursing will always be there if I decide to go back to it. Social work has come to mind many times. I am nervous but excited to explore what else is out there. Thank you!

KelRN215, BSN, RN

1 Article; 7,349 Posts

Specializes in Pedi.

I was already accepted into nursing school when I was diagnosed with my brain tumor my senior year of high school. During college, I volunteered at camps for children with epilepsy and brain tumors and decided that peds neuro is where I should be. I easily obtained what I then considered to be my "dream job" as a new grad. When it got incredibly hard was when I was in the middle of a 16 month long medical crisis myself ~2-3 years into my career (MRI was concerning for possible tumor recurrence and around the same time, I was diagnosed with diabetes insipidus and renal tubular acidosis) and I had to take care of a child with a tumor very similar to my own who was dying. He had been diagnosed as an infant, but around the same time I was diagnosed 8 years earlier. Another shift that I remember that I found particularly challenging was when I had to work on the anniversary of my diagnosis and took care of a patient around my age who had a very similar diagnosis but was diagnosed as an infant in the 80s before doctors knew what would happen if you radiated the brains of small children. She received radiation for her low grade brain tumor (these tumors are almost never treated with radiation nowadays) and was neurologically devastated. I found this very emotional because, when I was diagnosed, I was told that I had likely had my tumor for many years, possibly since infancy, but we never knew until I had a seizure because it was so slow growing. I wondered after taking care of this girl what would have happened to me had I been diagnosed much younger.

I worked at that job for almost 5 years then moved on to something else, but still in nursing.

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