Milestones.

Nurses Recovery

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Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.

This time of year is so...weird for me. I have roughly 1400 days sober and will have 4 years of sobriety if I make it to May 1st. (Not reason to assume I won't, but never say never!) If I make it to four years of sobriety, I have will have been sober for half the number of years I drank.

It's also about this day four years ago when I was finally busted for drinking on the job. I still have so much shame and guilt wrapped up into that. (In early sobriety, when I had no clue where my next job would be or even if I'd have a nursing license, I'd replay that night over and over again in my head to torture myself. These days, I still think about that night but replaying it in my head no longer makes me want to crawl into a hole and die.) On the other hand, my life has come so far since then and I am grateful for that. I wish it hadn't had to come to what it did four years ago, but it did.

My husband sobered up eight months before I did. His brother is getting "married" at an all-inclusive in the Dominican Republic next January. His sister did the same thing a few years ago. He and I were talking about that trip - we were both absolutely wasted for the whole seven days, missed the one excursion we had planned & paid for because we were both too hungover to go. He was like "It's amazing how much happier I am now." I feel the same way. We've done so much more and been to so many more places sober than we ever did while drinking, and we're still at the point where we've been drinking in our relationship longer than we've been sober. That's a good feeling to have.

("Married" because they got married in her backyard LAST YEAR. I may or may not still be very irritated that I have to spend 40 hours of hard-earned PTO to witness something that really already happened three years ago.)

Over the years, I've settled on acceptance that what happened four years ago to bring me into sobriety had to happen that way. It's easier to swallow than the what-ifs: what if I'd sobered up the first time my drinking put me in a psych ward? Or after my DUI? Or after my nurse manager pulled me into her office to ask if I was alright because the day charge nurse was concerned about me? I can't go back and change the past, but I can move forward to shape my future into what I want it to be -- as long as I am not drinking.

We're firming up plans to go hiking in Nepal this October. Definitely not something that would have been on my radar five years ago.

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Way to go Dirtyhippiegirl!!! A trip to DR is worth 40 hours PTO. Enjoy you have earned it

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Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.
Way to go Dirtyhippiegirl!!! A trip to DR is worth 40 hours PTO. Enjoy you have earned it

Thanks! We aren't really all-inclusive/lay at the beach types lol. I'd rather do something more adventurous and off the beaten path, and so would he, but it's his brother and all that jazz so we'll probably bum around the nearest town and do excursions and stuff.

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I'm a history nerd and I liked the Santo Domingo tour. You are right about all-inclusive resorts. The never ending booze is a big part of the draw. I am a chill by the pool / ocean guy so I'll try it sober over the next couple years. I July it will be two years for me but it doesn't hold the same value for me. I think the beaches in Punta Cana are worth the trip alone. I wish you a happy sober vacation with your loved ones

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Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.
I'm a history nerd and I liked the Santo Domingo tour. You are right about all-inclusive resorts. The never ending booze is a big part of the draw. I am a chill by the pool / ocean guy so I'll try it sober over the next couple years. I July it will be two years for me but it doesn't hold the same value for me. I think the beaches in Punta Cana are worth the trip alone. I wish you a happy sober vacation with your loved ones

Thank you!

Have you been to Rome? I am a huge history buff. Thought Rome would be overrated but it really was great, esp if you hit the smaller attractions and museums outside the Forum and Colosseum.

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I was in Rome as a young soldier 100 years ago. Mostly I remember Italian girls and cold beer

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.
This time of year is so...weird for me. I have roughly 1400 days sober and will have 4 years of sobriety if I make it to May 1st. (Not reason to assume I won't, but never say never!) If I make it to four years of sobriety, I have will have been sober for half the number of years I drank.

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Congratulations! I celebrated 13 years on 2/18/18. Man, hard to believe. I was one of those late in life "drunks". I did not start until 35-36 and was sober by 40.

I too, have many happy memories now that I do not drink. I have a 6 year old granddaughter and a daughter-in-law that have NEVER seen me take a drink.

I, too, sometimes play "that night" over and over in my head. I was so drunk and high, I cannot remember 98% of it. But, I have said before and will again, the night I was arrested was the BEST and WORST day of my life.

I am planning a trip to Florence, Italy, and cannot wait to enjoy it!

Hiking in Nepal sounds wonderful. I am happy that you and your husband are enjoying the new life you made for yourselves!

ENJOY!

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