Feeling so lost in my career

Hi everyone,

Thought I'd bare it all here because I feel like I've reached the end of my tether and I feel hopelessly lost in my career. I do hope you won't judge me.

I have been a nomadic nurse for 13 years now. By nomadic I mean I have not stayed in one department or struck to a specialty for more than 3 years. I don't seem to have found my place/niche.

A bit of background: graduated 2005 in my hometown, small province, only 4 bigger hospitals with not so above average standards. Volunteered in General nursing for 3 years, went on a hiatus for 5 years to take care of my mum with terminal cancer and then went on a teaching job as there were no paid nursing jobs around.

Pursued greener pastures in Australia in 2013. Start up here is pretty tough. Hospitals were pretty specific about experience, and Aged Care wasn't my cup of tea. So we did agency nursing for a bit. On call status, all hospitals in town. I ended up with panic attacks and severe anxiety I have never felt before. Then I also hurt my back.

I started liking General Practice Clinic job but later on became very disillusioned by it. Found two jobs I liked: Wound Clinic and Outpatients Nurse. Sadly, they can only give me part time hours. So despite my disappointment with GP clinics, I stayed. Then I received a huge shocker when they booted me out after probationary period was over. Said they found me unable to cope with the pace. Now I am left with my two other jobs that couldn't give me more hours. I am just lost and feeling like the most incompetent, dumbest person on earth.

My other manager has opened up to me once as well that I was too timid at work and lacked the confidence and initiative. I agreed on the first two remarks but not the one without initiative. She based it on mere personal impression of me. But she was right, I am a very insecure, lacking in confidence, and passive. I try to be proactive but I don't think I'm doing enough. My friends tell me I am very weak-spirited. That , Had I taken risks to work in Aged Care/Acute Hospitals I would have been raking in cash by now. I've submitted applications everywhere and although they said I was a strong candidate, somebody better came along and got the position.

I have fallen out of love with nursing. In fact, I don't think I was ever in love with it. Parents wanted me to be a nurse. But I can't turn back now. This is the only thing I know. But now I don't even know if I'm fit to be a nurse if I am this type of person.

Shall I seek a career counsellor now?