Should I move into Agency Nursing?

[NurseyMomma]

I got 1 yr experience on IMCU/Medtele and I quickly realized that the floor I was working was an absolute disaster and I'd soon hate nursing if I didn't leave this floor. I truly believe it was the unit I was working on and the lack of organization and the unrealistic expectations as far as ratios (1:5-6) and work load goes. Almost everyone gets chased outta this unit and they hire on new grads for the fact that they know they will stay for the experience as the turn over is high and other nurses will refuse to put up with it and leave. I've been told by many agency nurses that it IS NOT like this everywhere. So after a year, I transferred over to Postpartum as I wanted to always try OB/gyn out and figured Id enjoy it there better. Well, I did! I love the unit, still a little busy but a good stable busy, I love the staff, the support, the managers, the atmosphere, the attitude, the happiness from bringing babies into the world, and the strong teamwork that this unit has! I loved it! But there's a downfall, I have a 4 month old, a 5 yr old, and a full time working husband who's schedule doesn't correlate with mine. I cant find a babysitter for 3 days a week and am finding it really hard to keep up with the full time hours and be a mom to my babies, which is my first and most important job to me. I know this isn't the best excuse, but for right now, its mine. The time away from work is time I know I'll never get back and it's killing me and my kids, not to mention, the lack of adequate childcare and hours of most day cares do not extend nursing 12 hr shifts so I'm kinda stuck in a rock in a hard place. It's truly hard when you have very little family support and any stranger would charge an arm and a leg to babysit (not to mention the trust factor). We've been able to make it work with just me working and my husband stay home but my facility is not paying me enough as I now work days & my yearly eval only acquired a 15 cent raise.. are you kidding me,15 cents!? Another reason I want to leave, I'm a seasoned experienced nurse, trained in a high level acute area and my pay is still that of a graduate nurse just coming off of internship. They never upped my pay after my first yr after I was informed by others that they would. I'm getting frustrated but I know agency would pay me 15 more dollars an hour and I could work more flexible hours in between my husbands schedule and we wouldn't have to worry about a babysitter. The only thing is, I would have to go back into IMCU/med-tele area as that's where I have at least a yr experience. In a perfect world, I'd work postpartum with agency but I only have 6 months there and I have to have a minimum of 1 yr before I can. Its all so frustrating b/c I don't want to leave PPU to find out I hate medsurg/medtele anywhere and it wasn't just the horrid unit I was on before. I have such a supportive and stable position on PPU but they are just unable to offer me the flexibility in hours that I need. I know I would have zero support as an agency nurse and would be expected to stand on my own without any help or direction as an agency nurse but we have got huge bills to pay with 2 new car notes, rent, insurance, school loans etc. I know us both working and I work less is the best option for us as I can make more money than him hourly and come home with a paycheck in 1 week with agency part time, that I'd make in 2 weeks on my unit I work at full time. I guess what it all boils down to is what's more important to me; area I'm passionate about and happy in with poor pay & not flexible hours vs flexibility, more pay, less support and stability at work, but more time with my kids. I cant decide!! All these factors have to have one that out weighs the other! Anyone out there think they can help nudge me into a direction of a decision?? Sorry for all the typos and run-ons... I'm tired and its late.