Shaken and crushed as new grad on PCU

Oct 9, 2023

Hi Nurse Beth,

I am a very recent graduate on week 7 of a residency on a PCU and I'm finding myself becoming less and less confident each day. I already have some health issues that are now arising out of nowhere that affect my sleep, energy, memory, and focus, and I've tried some techniques to help counter those issues. But I feel like the more I try, the worse I do, and it's not good enough for anyone. The way I was approached about a serious mistake I made leaves me in limbo about my future on this unit and my original preceptor has requested not to continue with me as she is afraid I will harm a patient.

However, I feel that this floor is too high-stress and fast paced for me to really get the hang of things. I'm not sure what is out there for me, and I am now to the point I cry every night, am so anxious I cannot eat, and I'm crying thinking about going back to work on Tuesday when it's just Saturday. I just feel like I'm getting talked at like I'm a child or I'm too stupid or slow, and another preceptor has come to me with concerns that I'm not progressing.

I'm not sure what they expect from someone who has never worked in healthcare before and is on week 7 of my life as a nurse. Can you give advice on how to move forward, and maybe a department, type of nursing, or different non hospital facility where I'm not expected to understand the intricacies of the service of so many different doctors and surgeries? I originally wanted to go straight to the OR but I'm not even sure I can use a thermometer at this point. I am shaken and crushed