Shacking Up Supervisor

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jan 17, 2003

Go up the chain of command, but do it with documentation and more than one person signing the letter. This person only has as much power as you give them, don't give them ANY.

2ndCareerRN · Jan 17, 2003

Here is my take on your situation.

You have been threatened.

You are now working in a hostile environment. You have no choice but to take this as high as needed to get it resolved.

It is his business who he is doing the dirty deed with, as long as it does not impact other people. In this case it has spilled into the work place, and that is not acceptable.

Talking to him, or her, will not resolve anything. You need to put your concerns in writing and forward it as high as you need to go. Personally I would start at the top and let the poop roll back downhill, it is much faster than trying to push it uphill. But, that is they way I do things if I think they are wrong or unfair.

Do not let this person turn your work place into a place you dread to be, take whatever action is needed now. Get that paper trail started ASAP.

bob

LucieRN · Jan 17, 2003

I am a nursing supervisor and from hearing of the supervisor of mention's behavior I can only comment that he/she is way too obvious.He/.She is obviously not discreet and this I find unacceptable

...I agree with documentation 100%..No one is indespensible--everyone is replaceable! Get writing and state your claim--Collect signatures and comment from your fellow co-workers--you have valid concerns....

Good Luck!

Lucie:eek:

nursecheryl · Feb 15, 2003

Would it be against the law to have a small tape recorder in your pocket when he says these statements so you have something to back up your story? :confused:

P.S. Come back and tell us what was done about this problem and how things have turned out

ThirdWorldGirl · Feb 15, 2003

I'm with everybody else, document it and go over his head, for him to try to have this control over you is more likely going to find his butt disposable than you...... but that's just my opinion, and I've been known to be wrong once or twice. Good luck

ThirdWorldGirl · Feb 15, 2003

oh my I just now noticed the gun toting hello kitty lmao, my 9 year old daughter's room is done in all hello kitty, sure hope I don't see any of them posters any time soon lol too cute!

Agnus · Feb 16, 2003

Document and take it to human resource department. You might consider filling a complaint with the labor board if this is not resolved.

RN2B2005 · Feb 16, 2003

A physician I once worked with was sued for sexual harassment...not because he had done the quid pro quo type of harassment ("You sleep with me, I'll promote you") but because he began very publicly dating a subordinate, just like in your situation.

His sleeping with the woman (a receptionist) and making it known publicly (through gifts, special treatment, etc.) created a hostile work environment--i.e., one in which other female employees understood that sexual favours equalled professional preference. So even though he never propositioned another employee, he was committing a civil crime.

The suit was successful, the physician retired, and several hundred thousand dollars changed hands.

Chiaramonte · Feb 16, 2003

I can have empathy with your situation. Fresh out of nursing school, I started a critical care fellowship in a larger trauma ICU. My married female manager was then interested in my single male RN preceptor. She continually threw herself at him and showed him all kinds of perks even though he had no interest in her.

Eventually, my ex-preceptor and I started dating and you can only imagine the rest. She made MY life just miserable even though we eventually became engaged and married. This misery went on for a couple of years. She even went as far as to grope at him at a unit party at our friend's house.

My husband filled a sexual harrsassment complaint and I had a "day of grievience" in personnel against her. My husband and I both kept a journal as to times and dates of her actions. The administration ignored the sexual harassment charge since she groped his genitals off the hospital property. I got a public apology from her in regards to what she was doing to me. She had to destroy any and all of my bogus letters of discipline in my personnel folder after I proved they were all concocted by her. I addressed all issues and had documentaion from other co-workers and MDs. She was suspended, sent to counseling and was put on probation for a year.

The upshot to it all was that she eventually preyed on another co-worker's RN nurse-manager husband. Finally my manager's husband found out about it and obtained photos of her rendevous with the other nurse's husband and sent them to administration and the co-worker RN wife. These two RN managers were eventually caught engaging in the "act" in his office after hours.

This immoral, dishonest nurse and her paramour eventually got fired but not until she caused havoc throughout many lives. Oh did I fail to mention that the other innocent victim nurse was pregnant at the time?

The point being is that it takes time to set things right but it can be done if you keep a paper trail and stand up for what you know is right. It may take time because you want to make sure you have proof of YOUR accusations. Truth and morality eventually prevail.