I'm lost. I'm confused. Don't know what to do. Love hurts so much, it's this punding force that won't let up. I don't want to fail as a parent. So far, my child is the happiest human being I have ever known. And I know it's genuine because she's a baby...innocent. I want(ed) to become a nurse because this love I feel for my little one is what others could use. I would feel helpful, and prominent in other people's lives. BUT how can I?? How can I compromise precious time with my bundle of joy to get an education that -according to many ppl on this board- won't make me sufficient money as a single parent???? Are my dreams of becoming a CRNA gone?? Out the window into the dark, stormy weather of deep red clots feeled with the smell of infinity piles of crap. I am willing to work.....but I am a dreamer. I barely have a logical bone in my body. People say "Have faith", "you can do it if you believe you can", and the oh so famous "if my friend of a friend of a friend of a friend can do it...you certainly can! .
I don't know. I don't know anything except why?
I will have to just find myself a doctor and make him fall in love with me while I allow myself to be consumed with my inner ignorance of this chastened existance called life.
That's if the war doesn't take all our lives soon.
. 