Senior Nursing Student Preceptorship Placement: Scared and Upset

[spammy_j]

Okay, I need some advice from the hospice nurses out there.

I graduate in May, and we get assigned to work with a preceptor during this last semester so we can learn to take on full patient loads and work one-on-one with a nurse. We turned in forms listing our top three floors to work on, our top hospitals in the area we want to be in, etc. last semester and just got our assignments a few hours ago.

Since I was 15 I've know I want to be a NICU/L&D nurse. I love babies, I love mamas, it is my passion and I already have plans to start my Neonatal NP as soon as possible after I graduate. I want to work in a large hospital, preferably with a high-level NICU.

That said, the one floor I've never wanted to work is a hospice unit. I completely respect those who do this work, but I have never seen myself doing this.

And of course, I was assigned to a hospice floor at a nursing home, not even in one of the hospitals I requested. I can't ask to change it, I can't switch with other students, and I'm freaking out a little as I've worked on a similar unit (a skilled care unit as a sophomore) and honestly hated it. Being around actively dying patients and having someone on the floor pass every shift was hard and I am scared out of my mind to do these clinicals. I have to do 12 8-hour shifts with my assigned nurse and I am so scared. I understand that patients on any floor can pass at a moment's notice but I did not want to be around this environment all the time. Again, I have the highest respect for those who work on hospice units, but I have never (and still never) want to work there. Death in that capacity frightens me. The times I've worked on hospice units in the past have provided me very few skills (like IVs, chest tubes, etc), I haven't felt like I could connect to the patients as many of them were unable to talk anymore, and I've felt myself getting discouraged.

Can some of the hospice nurses please give me advice and/or encouragement of some sort? This is the exact opposite population I've dreamed of working with since I was 15 (now 22) and I don't know what to do. I want to go in with a good attitude and do great work, regardless of where it is, but my goodness this is going to be a challenge. And if this was a regular shift like during med-surg last year it would be different, but this is where I learn to manage my time, my thoughts, and my patients, and I'm not in a hospital so I'm afraid this won't provide me enough of a hospital mentality. I know this is just one semester and it isn't that big of a deal but I was hoping so hard to be placed somewhere that I could put on a resume specifically for the areas I want to work.

I mean no disrespect towards hospice nursss, I am just scared and not sure what to expect or how to go into this without being a failure.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Death happens in the world of NICU/ L&D all the time. You have a wonderful opportunity to learn some of the 'soft skills' surrounding these tragic events from the expert in the field. You will view families at all points on the spectrum of acceptance to denial (just like in your 'dream job' areas). Be constantly thinking of how you can take what you are learning and apply it to future situations.

[RNBearColumbus, BSN]

I mean no disrespect towards hospice nursss, I am just scared and not sure what to expect or how to go into this without being a failure.

Often, the universe has a way of forcing us to deal with our fears even if we don't want to.

Learning to care for the dying, and care for the families of the dying, will provide you with skills that will make you an awesome nurse in the future. Don't look at this is a wasted opportunity. It is a gift. You have been given the opportunity to face and conquer something that you fear, with the guidance of an experienced nurse.

If you do end up in NICU or L&D, you will still be dealing with people experiencing end of life, grief and loss. Having a solid skill set to use will make those situations easier to deal with.

That said, it's just a semester long preceptorship. It by no means limits the types of positions you will be able to apply for or work in once you have graduated and are actually a nurse.