Self Reflection: What could you do better?

esipbisn · May 8, 2015

Definitely

No Stars In My Eyes · May 9, 2015

I need to gossip less. It's my worst habit and often difficult for me to recognize/acknowledge as I do it. That's both in and out of work.
Too often I catch myself "venting" to a coworker about another coworker when in reality I am just talking trash and gossiping. In the heat of the moment I will rationalize it because the person I am speaking about was SO wrong or SO dumb that whatever I am saying negative about them must be true and deserved. It's sort of a unifying thing also because them my coworker/audience can say "oh yeah I know! this is what he/she did with me..." I am never like this to the persons face, so I felt like I was still "nice" despite what I was saying behind their backs.
I recently had a big moment where it hit me how destructive my gossiping can be and I was very disgusted with myself over it. I feel terrible that I can get satisfaction for putting someone else down instead of trying to help them or confronting them with an issue myself. This is something that took a lot of soul searching for me to realize and acknowledge about myself. It's a very ugly part of myself.
Since that realization I have made positive efforts to not talk negatively and to not participate or ignite these kinds of discussions. I realize it says a lot more about my insecurities than it does than anything else. I still slip sometimes and I don't always catch myself. I feel guilty later when I reflect and realize it. It takes a lot of effort and self reflection to change this.

My step-daughter is like you described yourself ......but SHE is 41 years old and has waaaay less insight than you! She is one mouthy lil' redneck Mama, "ain't afraid of NO-body" And whatever rolls across the top of her brain comes right on out over her wagging tongue. She zipped in the other day and she talked fast and non-stop for 1 & 1/2 hours, about e-v-e-r-y-body and e-v-e-r-y-thing. It was almost like a stand-up comic's act, except it wasn't funny. Her dad and I sat her with our eyes wide open and eyebrows raised. She honestly is much worse than ever since living a scant 1/8th of a mile from her Momma. :sarcastic:

I congratulate you for the stretching and growing! And now that you are trying to change a bad old habit, don't expect sparkling miracles from yourself immediately! But every little one makes a bite out of it and after a while there'll be so many holes bit out of that habit, it will just fall apart.

Be glad you didn't come away from your first year like me, cussing like a Marine because you worked with four of them for 40 hrs a week! Well, then I moved to the South and realized that silly, silly words like "Gosh!" and "Oh, my goodness!" were, while shocking to MY mouth to say, weren't frowned upon like my more colorful phrasings!

Sounds to me like you are doing great because being able to admit it to yourself is HUGE! Saying it on here is brave and quite awesome of you! I don't know why, but your post just tickled me to pieces!

Kudos to you!

Karou · May 10, 2015

My step-daughter is like you described yourself ......but SHE is 41 years old and has waaaay less insight than you! She is one mouthy lil' redneck Mama, "ain't afraid of NO-body" And whatever rolls across the top of her brain comes right on out over her wagging tongue. She zipped in the other day and she talked fast and non-stop for 1 & 1/2 hours, about e-v-e-r-y-body and e-v-e-r-y-thing. It was almost like a stand-up comic's act, except it wasn't funny. Her dad and I sat her with our eyes wide open and eyebrows raised. She honestly is much worse than ever since living a scant 1/8th of a mile from her Momma.
I congratulate you for the stretching and growing! And now that you are trying to change a bad old habit, don't expect sparkling miracles from yourself immediately! But every little one makes a bite out of it and after a while there'll be so many holes bit out of that habit, it will just fall apart.
Be glad you didn't come away from your first year like me, cussing like a Marine because you worked with four of them for 40 hrs a week! Well, then I moved to the South and realized that silly, silly words like "Gosh!" and "Oh, my goodness!" were, while shocking to MY mouth to say, weren't frowned upon like my more colorful phrasings!
Sounds to me like you are doing great because being able to admit it to yourself is HUGE! Saying it on here is brave and quite awesome of you! I don't know why, but your post just tickled me to pieces!
Kudos to you!

I am glad my post tickled you :) It's not easy to acknowledge the ugly about myself and talk about it. Your post was very sweet and I appreciate the reply.

I smiled about your step daughter because unfortunately, I can easily visualize that. I picture yall not being able to get much of a word in as she goes on and on. All the while she has no idea that her audience is totally disinterested in her juicy stories and are probably way more entertained by her crazy behavior! Lol.

No Stars In My Eyes · May 10, 2015

I am glad my post tickled you :) It's not easy to acknowledge the ugly about myself and talk about it. Your post was very sweet and I appreciate the reply.
I smiled about your step daughter because unfortunately, I can easily visualize that. I picture yall not being able to get much of a word in as she goes on and on. All the while she has no idea that her audience is totally disinterested in her juicy stories and are probably way more entertained by her crazy behavior! Lol.

What's sad is that she is soooo self-righteous. AND she had to get every 'story' told; what they said and what she said, and you know that in all aspects she is not merely justified, but triumphant!â€‹. Whew! It's exhausting to listen to.