Self Doubt

first let me say that i am sorry that you lost 2 friends. let me also say that i also feel that i am a great communicator; however, i can not control the actions of other people. as great communicators we try to reason with someone in hopes of changing their mind. we try sooooo hard to get them to see that there is hope, that there is joy and that there are things to live for. however, many times, as you have found out first hand.... words don't always work. again, i am sorry for your loss..

now with this...

i think in the future anyone i personally know that i recognize as at risk for suicide, i will ask them to sign a contract, is that resonable to do with friends/family?

i have thought about this long and hard because i do not want to upset you further. also, please remember that this is what i believe i need to do with my friends and family.

the rule i live by is: never nurse your own friends or family! obviously if someone has minor things like a cold, flu, etc... i of course would offer info.

should a friend/family member state they wished to die i would be there for them as a friend/family member, not as a nurse. objectivity is lost. you can use therapeutic communication but you can not establish a therapeutic relationship. should my friend say they will kill themselves, then i would try to convince them to get help, however, if they will not, then i would call the police.

oh my point...(sorry i was rambling) by asking a friend/family member to sign a contract would mean that they already implied the wish to kill themselves, since they did that they need professional help. they need constant monitoring and sorry to say, you wouldn't be able to physically do that. they may need meds and again you can't do that. what you can do is support them to get help or make the phone call for them.

your pain, sadness and possible guilt is leading you to be reactive... when the best thing you can do is to be proactive.

i view your topic as a touchy subject; feel free to ask questions so i might be able to clarify something. i do not in any way want you to think that i am blaming you or anything else.

i wish you the best.

~psych

Hey Balder, PyschNWB made a great reply.

I would just add that I have had a close friend commit suicide, which is one of the impetuses for me to choose psych. I was a good friend to that person but it didn't stop the suicide. You can only do so much as a friend and even as a health professional.

Even the greatest therapist can't stop everyone from committing suicide, just like the greatest cardiologist can't save every heart patient. The best you can do is try and you will be able to help some. There are a lot of things in psych that I think still are not understood, maybe more than other fields (and which makes it interesting to me)....it is hard to know what is going on with someone who is suicidal since that goes against the inborn drive to live.

Don't let these situations make you give up on psych nursing, it seems you are a sensitive and caring person and would be a great addition to the field.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends. While I have no professional (only personal)experience with suicide, I feel that not one, but many people have failed the victim. Society has failed this person and it seems impossible for one person to fix what so many have ignored. I also think that by going after your goals you can provide the help that is needed.