second thoughts

[violin9]

I applied to our local community college nursing program this month and should hear in July. I keep playing mind games with myself as to whether I'll make it or not even if I do get in. If I don't get in, what happens to my identity. All these years of prerequisites, I considered myself to be a future nurse. What if it doesn't happen. I don't want to suffer a loss. I want to keep going. I don't want a rejection to damage my self worth. I haven't succeeded in any career thus far and I'm middle aged - I've tried many things. I have a bachelor's in a non-nursing field and have been fired from jobs numerous times. I don't want to feel like a loser, but what if I don't get in. I can't keep trying new things. This is it. I'm too old for this. My thoughts are racing and I don't know how to stop them. I keep obsessing on this acceptance/rejection thing and am glued to this forum. I don't want it to be the end of the world if I don't get in. I am married with an emptying nest. What then? no career - and no kids. (but a nice husband) - small consolation. I aspired to be a nurse because of interest and because I wanted to have something when the kids were gone, since I haven't yet found my niche. I feel impending disaster. This can't happen. Any suggestions as to how to survive failure and uncertainty?

[violin9]

points taken. It may be out of my hands anyway, if I don't get accepted in to the nursing program here. - a moot issue, so to speak. If I do have the good fortune to gain acceptance into the program, concurrent with my clinical training will be my personal training so as to function optimally in whatever setting I may be in.

My life experiences and age have made me more circumspect and analytical in approaching any decisions of this nature.