what to say???

[tx2007]

I have a question what do you all think is ok to say to a patient when they start crying??? I dont know what to say. I know we dont just say "it will be ok" but what do you say Example: You walk into the room and as how are you doing? the patient starts crying saying I just lost my husband??? I am always at a loss of words and wanted to see how you all handle that?! Thanks!

[grinnurse, RN]

So far that has happened only 2 times. Each time I said something like this "You look like you could use a hug" and then go from there. Sometimes the pt or family member will want to talk and others, like someone else said was the human touch that they needed.

[Adam D. RN2005]

It all depends. Sometimes I don't say anything, just let the patient talk, and give them a hug. Be sincere, don't say everything will be alright, because sometimes it isn't. I almost always call the Chaplain to come and speak with the patient. That is their speciality.

I have to agree here. Sometimes the correct thing to say is nothing at all. And sometimes just a simple nod or even a hand on someones sholder will tell the person that they are not alone. And most of all just being there for the pt is the most important.

One thing I would like to add, 4.5 years ago, in 2001, I was one of those pt's. I was in this increadable pain that I will just say was 50. (Kidney stones is 10, my nerve injury made the kidney stones a walk in the park.) I was also under a lot of personal stress. I was trying to deal with some heavy person issues that I uncovered duing the past month. I had a male nurse that touched my life at a time that I really needed it.

He walked into my room to assess me, and when he asked me how I was, the emmence emotional stress that I under finally opened up. I don't think he ever said a word, but he gave me a shoulder to cry on. He checked on me quite a few times that day.

When I was discharged, he pushed the wheel chair out, and while my parents were getting the car, he told me that at the moment I would least expect it, things would start falling into place. He was right.

It was the life events of 2001 (9/11 to a very minor degree) that lead me to listin to my heart and lead me to become a registered nurse four years later.

Adam, RN

[christvs, DNP, RN, NP]

This happened to me on Friday. My pt started crying in the middle of me giving her IV Lopressor. Turns out she was stressed out over taking care of her husband (of over 50 yrs) who has MS & she was saying how she never cries but that between taking care of her husband & dealing with her surgery, it was all too much. So I told her it was ok to cry if she needed to & if she wanted to I would listen to her. She did talk but then after a while decided to change the subject because she said I just needed to get that out & now I feel a little better. I just felt bad cuz although I was listening to her talk I was also watching my watch so I wouldn't give her the IV Lopressor too quickly-cuz I was trying to make sure at least a minute went by after I gave each mL of it! I told her that so she wouldn't think I was in a hurry.Of course, then my post-op pt. came up to the floor & I had to go see him but I felt so bad leaving my pt. while she was still somewhat upset...I told her I'd check on her as often as I could

-Christine

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

Wonderful, genuine, and sincere responses... all of them.

In cases such as these, I just follow my heart.. let it lead. It has never led me wrong.

Somehow, you will just "sense" when it's best to be still and simply LISTEN.. not merely with the ears, but with the heart.

And sitting down (if at all possible and time allows) so to be at eye level with the patient is comforting to your patient.. assuring him/her that you are truly interested in what he/she is saying.

While doing that, I take their hand and hold it between the two of mine, and while I listen, I allow my heart to be touched..

my compassion and empathy then flows out from me into the hand I hold between mine.