Saturday March 25 2023

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 25, 2023

Good morning.

Joe, that weather is crazy cold. It will be 80 here.

Not much going on today. I've washed the sheets and want to make a lentil soup and go to yoga.

Have a great day!

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 25, 2023

I didn't get up today until 11:30 AM. Hubby was out in the Ford. When I took my coffee to the front porch, I also walked around toward the Ford....asked hubby if he'd taken his 3 Ativan pills yet....and he hadn't. I asked if he'd had anything to drink, but he said he had not. He said to put the 3 Ativan on his bureau and he'd "be in, in a minute" to take them. So an HOUR later he came in. down in the den, in his recliner, I don't know if h'd fallen asleep and was dreaming, or what, but he asked me something like...'did you get your Ford taken care of?' I was puzzled and said, "What? It's not my Ford and anyway it is Saturday," and I asked him to repeat what he said. He got mad and said "Never mind!" I'm like: ? "What???" He decided he was going to go upstairs and lay down in bed ( he said he didn't sleep at all well last night. ) So, I guess he'll not sleep well tonight either, due to his frequent napping.

He also said his nose still hurt, and he couldn't breathe out of his left nostril. I mean, guy, you JUST recently fell flat on your face, and it will take a while to heal!

Nannie is asleep in her recliner, in spite of the REALLY BRIGHT sunshine. It is supposed to get into the upper 70's this afternoon.

I'm going to go sit outside and read a magazine, try to remove my mind from this weirdness in the house. I'll come by again later on.....

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 25, 2023

Yeh, so I said to hubby, after stating that I was not trying to start an argument, and telling him that he KNOWS I have never been a 'snoop'.... but I had gone out to the Ford and saw a bag of empties and also in the trash barrel, another bag of empties. I told him that he is NOT supposed to be drinking if he is taking the Ativan, and he replied, "Yeah, well I'm trying..." I said he was not trying if he was still drinking.

Then he wanted to say that he knew I didn't like his drinking because of the way my Daddy was to me, but he wasn't like my dad, and he didn't (doesn't) make things hard on me. He got po'd because I looked at him over the top of my glasses, and he didn't like that look. I said, that he did actually make things hard on me by not participating in daily life here, and letting me take care of most everything. I told him that I was not afraid of him like I felt toward my dad, that I was really more afraid of becoming a widow.

He went out to the Ford and 'cleaned it up' and then he told me that he wanted me to know there was a paper bag on the back seat of the Ford, and it had all of his booze in it, and if I wanted to, ("it's up to you" is the way he put it) I could put it in the trash or whatever I wanted to do with it, he didn't care. He said, "You are the one who wants me to quit drinking, so you can do what you want to about that." I told him that I thought HE wanted to quit drinking, and if so, it was HIS responsibility to take care of the bag of booze.

Guess he has forgotten about all the crying and sobbing that he did about wanting to "get the monkey off my back", and how he's ruined his health and his life. I think he wants to have the doctor 'put him in' a rehab, so he doesn't have to make any decisions for himself.

I think when he was "cleaning up" the Ford, he took some pretty big swallows of a few of the little bottles to drown the sorrow and guilt. So, now he has gone back up to his bedroom to rest. (After staggering hard twice on the stairs.)

After he suggested a while ago that we have pot-pies for supper and I said okay.....he has asked me 3 more times within a half an hour, what we were going to have for supper. Probably he has that ol' vodka induced dementia. He had also asked me when he was supposed to take 'those pills' again. It was supposed to be at maybe 6:30 PM, but I am disinclined to do that due to his drinking at the same time. Maybe I'll give him the late bedtime dose, I dunno.

BAH! meh. smh.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 25, 2023

Stars, your husband won't quit drinking for you. He puts lip service to wanting to quit drinking but he really doesn't want to quit in his heart of hearts. He may like the idea of quitting. He probably is telling his doctor he wants to quit because he likes the pills and perhaps he's a bit ashamed to be in that position and he certainly can't tell his doctor "I don't want to quit, it's my wife that wants me to quit". How many times now has he done this so-called detox? I've lost count. I would tell his doctor to stop prescribing it. I'm stunned your doctor still does.

I was on my way to yoga and ran into a traffic jam and couldn't make it in time. This has happened like four times the last few months. I went almost three years without missing a class and wonder what's up now other than the usual "height of the season" business.

It will be interesting to see how this year's snowbird season is. I was reading that inflation may have an impact and after many good years it might not be as good. I was reading that in 2019 pre-covid snowbirds impacted the Florida economy with 95 billion dollars. I also was reading that this year's Spring break where I live is expected to be a record-breaker.

Usually Easter is the official end of Snowbird Season. Best friend and I made reservations for the Easter Buffet at the resort across the street from where he lives. This is the first time since 2019 that they've brought buffets back and they do a good one.

Ado Annie, ASN, RN · Mar 26, 2023

Somewhere in the middle of New Mexico ...

It has been a great trip despite breaking the rear window of the soft top.

If we had been trying to see the Grand Canyon with snow, we probably would have failed. I am ready to get back home, though.

There were a lot of Spring Break travelers at the resort in Scottsdale where the conference was but the national parks were not very crowded.

The bird is a mountain jay that we saw at Sunset Crater.

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 26, 2023

Tweety~ Yeah, I know he isn't going to quit drinking for me; that's why I tell him that HE has to be responsible for what he does and doesn't do. I didn't give him any Ativan this afternoon because he'd been drinking. Then at 9:45 PM he said, "How long do you suppose it will take for the Ativan to 'kick in'?" ...WHAT? Come to find out he had taken it ( the dose was for 3 tablets q6hrs) while he was upstairs. THEN as he was going to bed, half an hour later, he said he had also just taken one of his 1.0 mg Xanax, so maybe he could sleep better. He'd better watch out or he'll be 'sleeping' for longer than overnight. What they used to call 'a long dirt-nap'.

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 26, 2023

As I was clearing my stuff out of the den, getting ready to go upstairs to bed, Nannie opened her bedroom door, stuck her head out and asked, "Is it snowing outside?" ? SNOW? We haven't seen any of that stuff here at all this year. She must have been dreaming!

Ado, That shot of the snow on the rock layers of the mtn. made me shiver!