SAHM to nursing school

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2017

You're doing what millions of moms do every day.

At 9 yrs old, he is definitely old enough to be held accountable for his behavior. A preschooler is different as acting out is so common -- they haven't acquired many coping skills nor the verbal skills to express themselves. At nine, you absolutely can acknowledge that this is a change for him, and you understand it's hard, BUT being upset about sharing Mom is not an excuse for bad behavior.

My oldest child was born while I was in nursing school and I've done stints as a SAHM, but not for years at a time until they start school. They have been fine for the most part, except around age 3 where they go through the "Mama, don't goooooo!!" They do however, hate me working on major holidays. A couple years ago at Christmas, I said "I would love to be home that day, but look at us. We are healthy, we have more than what we need, we have a home. There are people at the hospital who will never walk again, who have dozens of broken bones, or even dying. We can open gifts any day, but the patients need their nurses TODAY."

Talk to him about how you are learning to help people who need it. Again at nine, he is old enough to think of others. Talk to him about the flexibility of nursing, e.g. nurses can work while their kids are sleeping and sleep while the kids are at school; or that you will be able to work part time in the future -- unlike some moms like my CPA friend who works 80 hrs a week during tax season.

You can do homework together, you can take turns quizzing each other. You'll get through it! :yes:

HappytobeARNP, MSN, APRN · Oct 3, 2017

I started nursing school when my kids were 2 and 4 years old. It was hard for me, my kids, and my husband. What motivated me was my passion for nursing, the ability to have my own career, and the possibility of improving the quality of life for my children and patients. You have to keep these things in mind when things get tough. If you don't truly have the passion to do it then the problems will wear you down and cause you to quit or be bitter. As mothers we have an enormous amount of guilt and expectations placed on us when we work and that will never change.

I would make sure that you spend special time with each of them individually and together. They aren't used to you not being available and this is a hard transition so help them understand that you are always there for them. Explain that there are very sick people that need your help to feel better. Tell them that you will spend as much free time with them as you can and that GOOD behavior at school and home will allow you guys to do more fun things.

Best wishes for you and your family!

ItsThatJenGirl, CNA · Oct 3, 2017

I've been a stay at home mom for 11 years now - I also homeschool my girls (10 and 12). I don't start nursing school until January, but my crazy prerequisite schedule was a pretty huge adjustment. The youngest has had a bit of separation anxiety and I would just comfort her while gently reminding her that what I'm doing is for the betterment of our family and it's really important to me that she be strong and supportive. That it was totally fine to feel sad, and she could text me when she did, and that I'd answer her as soon as I could.

Something else that's really important to her is that I say goodbye in the mornings before I leave. She hates waking up without me here, so I go into her room for a quick snuggle before I leave, which has helped.

I wish I had better advice. I'm a very matter-of-fact type of parent, but I try to find a balance between being firm and respecting whatever feelings my kids are having.

Everyone will be okay though.