I have recently encountered a situation which I have to admit I suspected was going to happen eventually.
I work night shift with a very smart and very good RN who has over time been a caring friend as well, a few weeks ago she had told me of a situation where she had been having a tough time with a male resident in the care home who was calling her names and trying to hit her.
She admitted she clipped in behind the ears in frustration, but she said that the minute she did it she knew it was wrong an felt bad, so I didnt say much as I didnt witness it.
Okay so you all know what is coming now dont you, yup, I was working with her and we have a lady who has dementia and has a pretty good right hook, which caught this RN by surprise to which she retaliated by grabbing this ladies arm and forcefully pulled it towards pretty much making her hit her self.
This RN has a reputation where if you cross her path she can and has managed to use the system to her advantage in order to get rid of people. Since this I have been seething inside as I know that I should be reporting it, but I admit there is the element of fear as I will be graduating in 4 months and dont want it all to be in jeopardy, I know that is selfish......
Can anyone offer some ways to deal with this in a tactful manner, so I can stop beating myself up over it.
I have just read all of the supportive posts and you may have a good idea of how heavy my chest is, I have almost been in tears because I know deep down that you are right I need to report this. One problem, I trust the DON however her sidekicks all have big mouths and no concept as to confidentiality.
In turn I have had time to think and act and here is what I have done, I know I may be criticised for this but after much consideration and self beating I thought this would be the best conclusion. Ready
Basically I wrote down what she had told me, and I also wrote down the details of the incident I witnessed and of course dated it and made 2 copies one I mailed to myself so it has the actual postage stamp on it, and I kept one on a floppy.
I called this RN and invited myself over for coffee, we sat and chatted and I very casually broached this subject, basically I explained how hurt I was that she would even consider putting me in this position, and I aslo acknowledged her positive points as well.
To make a long story short, she now knows that I have this safely documented, I have assured her that just because I am a student and a friend that I am a co-worker first and my duty of care is to the patients and in no un-certain terms if this type of thing happened again on my watch I would not hesitate to report her and submit the preserved documentation from previous.
She was very shocked to say the least but I suspect she will be watching her own moves as well as mine so as precaution I have made up a good excuse as to why I need to have my shifts changed to suit my studies.
This has been a very hard lesson to learn, I am an ex-office manager it was my job to keep people happy but to be honest as well, trust me I have become stronger for it.
milenko
79 Posts
Hi, everyone
I have just read all of the supportive posts and you may have a good idea of how heavy my chest is, I have almost been in tears because I know deep down that you are right I need to report this. One problem, I trust the DON however her sidekicks all have big mouths and no concept as to confidentiality.
In turn I have had time to think and act and here is what I have done, I know I may be criticised for this but after much consideration and self beating I thought this would be the best conclusion. Ready
Basically I wrote down what she had told me, and I also wrote down the details of the incident I witnessed and of course dated it and made 2 copies one I mailed to myself so it has the actual postage stamp on it, and I kept one on a floppy.
I called this RN and invited myself over for coffee, we sat and chatted and I very casually broached this subject, basically I explained how hurt I was that she would even consider putting me in this position, and I aslo acknowledged her positive points as well.
To make a long story short, she now knows that I have this safely documented, I have assured her that just because I am a student and a friend that I am a co-worker first and my duty of care is to the patients and in no un-certain terms if this type of thing happened again on my watch I would not hesitate to report her and submit the preserved documentation from previous.
She was very shocked to say the least but I suspect she will be watching her own moves as well as mine so as precaution I have made up a good excuse as to why I need to have my shifts changed to suit my studies.
This has been a very hard lesson to learn, I am an ex-office manager it was my job to keep people happy but to be honest as well, trust me I have become stronger for it.
Thanks again everyone for your support.
Milenko