Renters Nightmares

[FranEMTnurse]

These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. 1

4. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

[Owney]

Great post Fran,

Now I gotta tell you a couple of cute stories about our apartment days.

Our last apartment was a town house. We had a U-shaped courtyard in front, and one night we had loud music echoing till 3 AM. So, I put my stereo speakers in the front bedroom window and treated the neighbours to my best recording of "The Stars and Stripes Forever" at 8AM.:roll

The back of our TH looked out onto a park that was virgin forest. We had many wild creatures back there; pheasants, racoons, possums, skunks and once, a beaver. I never expected to have any humans out there, so I rarely pulled the bathroom curtains. One nice Spring morning I had finished shaving, au naturale, before I noticed ten people, Portugese, I think, who were picking the wild grape leaves. They smiled at me as I pulled the shade. I guess I could be happy they didn't laugh!:chuckle

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Thanks Owney. I like yours too.

#1. :roll :roll :roll

#2. WOOOOO HOOOOO!

[cimersrn]

Hi There. Sorry this is off thread, but I'm looking for "Nekhismom" to see how her little brother is doing. If you're out there, I'm a burn nurse and I recently replied to your posts from last month regarding his injuries. Hope he's doing well.

Thanks,

cimersrn

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

cimersrn, for something like that there's no need to apologize. I hope it gets results, and that you learn from Nekhismom that he's now doing well. You sound like a very caring nurse. God bless you.