"Ode To a Labor and Delivery Nurse " OR...Maternity is NOT a Piece of Cake......:)

[mother/babyRN, RN]

while i know this might be better placed in the ob section, it might be fun to see how non maternity nurses think about it......based on several truly horrific night shifts.....

ode to a labor and delivery nurse or, maternity is not a piece of cake....written by frazzled night delivery nurse martha crowninshield o'brien...september 25, 1994

one cool and windy night, just shy of a raging typhoon,

i inhaled sharply, full of fright, at the sight of the harvest moon.

but, onward toward maternity my fearful feet did tread,

and as i passed delivery, that fear turned into dread....

red bags piled to the ceiling,

amidst puddles of ooze and gore-

it was glaringly apparent i had nothing good in store...

the linen cart was barren-

all bags were overstuffed,

splitting at the seams they were,

as if they'd had enough..

pausing at the double door,

i loosed an anxious sigh, and shivered to my toenails

as i went sulking by...

stealthily i tiptoed down the hall to take a peek-

so completely overwhelmed was i that i could barely speak!

once in the inner sanctum,

i was committed then, to stay-

absolutely quite impossible for me to get away...

two nurses for six patients, in various stages of stress-

counting all, the eight of us, were in a major mess!

someone up the hall aways let loose a howl of pain,

and i contemplated leaving since conditions seemed insane.

still observing, undetected, i checked the board for stats,

when whirling into vision ran a maze of or hats!

"hey!" yelled nurse number one to me ( she of the evening crew),

"stat section now so listen up; i'll give report to you."

"the girl in one is fully;rooms two and three, are eight,

we're going to the or and your second nurse is late!" "two labor checks expected and one is premature;

theres some question of a third one but the doctor isn't sure."

"seems her last one took an hour once the water broke ( stop laughing like an idiot cause i just don't get the joke!)

to continue..

"theres an induction in the morning, a supposed gravida four; it's an unexpected pregnancy and theres no pit on the floor."

"oh, the doctors' in a foul mood ( so what else is new?)"

they say someone has to float and you'd better hope its you!"

"the instruments are soaking, but only one table is set-

forget about restocking; thats as far as i could get!"

then, off she dashed to the or, followed by the coach-

i assessed the situation to determine some approach...

retreat was not an option (though it sounded great to me),

so, sizing up my patients, i triaged the active three...

while the girl in one was pushing, room two's membranes burst-

it had now become a contest of who'd deliver first.

just as room three vomited, and progressed from eight to rim,

the coach of number one yelled out that i should come back in!

still (thank god), some pushing; from two, a serious groan, interupted the next instant, by the ringing of the phone.

"an ambulance is coming!" yelled my er nurse friend jane. "we know she's really active, but we don't know her name!""she doesn't know her due date and had no prenatal care- no further information and they went off the air." " she'll be arriving shortly, as they are currently enroute; eta is anytime; consider her acute."

i took a breath, cursed hippa, and prepared the triage room,

ripped the sheets off, pulled more belts,

tried to shake the air of doom....

just then the doors flew open, two emts in tow, more nervous than the patient, sheets soaked with bloody show.

as i mentally requested my heart remain inside my chest, i readied our last labor room for our most recent guest....

thankfully, night nurse two arrived and the doctor too,

having just finished the section,

i crossed myself ( thankyou!)...

room one delivered nicely, no time for an epis-

we turfed her to post partum and continued with the seige.

of course she is a negative and the cord blood is misplaced,

so we rearrange priorities and locate it with haste.

in between this turmoil, its fully for room two-

three is stuck at rim now, but feeling pushy too...

no abruption for our latest, and her ultrasound is fine-

the best news of this nightshift is gestationally, shes on time...

her odu is positive ( a "slight" problem with cocaine), so with double gloved palpation, i attempt to find a vein...

"i could help you with that , honey," ( she stares with listless eyes),

" i know my veins by heart, and i note with some surprise,

that for a milisecond, in the beating of a heart, that i actually considered she do her iv start.!

but the worst news of this night shift is undeniably grim-

no housekeeping is scheduled so we either sink or swim...

a happy, quick delivery for the couple in room two. pitocin for room three now, to start at 2 mu.

sadly, we now have a demise, and offer comfort care-

my heart is saddened for her , of course,

i wish she wasn't there,

to hear the happy sounds of life,

when her child is no more-

but i pause only a moment,

and gear myself for more...

mad rush for extra iv pumps,

suspicious grunting from room three-

no time for any paperwork,

no time at all, to pee...

three is fully now, and pushing, with no clean delivery room,

i swear theres a connection between us and that full moon!

here comes the supervisor, to tell me i'm to float,

i relay my reluctance- i know the speech by rote...

she is not at all impressed,

after all, there are no problems on ob,

so i refuse to listen,

and she threatens to dicipline me..

well, i say in passing,

knock yourself out and then,

we hear some desperate screaming,

and i am gone again....nurse two and i are scrambling

frantically here and there, and the doctors' pretty ornery,

but we don't really care.

"i want an iv started!" he barks, "i want it now!"

not even breaking stride i tell him not to have a cow.

face reddening with anger, he barely gasps a "what?"

so i remind him gently, that we're all the help he's got...

" i need a cup of coffee, go make a cup for me."

i stare at him with disbelief, "sure, if you'll make one for me."

"or", i quickly offer, you might make some of your own."

disarmed only briefly, he quiets at my tone.

then,

"where are all our nurses?"

"this is crazy!" he exclaims, and i, for once

agree with him, that managements' to blame...

they don't take us seriously;

after all, we're only sweet ob,

no one sees the things we do.

the things that they don't see....

the critical hellp patients,

the serious social lore,

the vast gamut of patients,

with a child that she'll soon bore...

they don't grasp the sadness,

when a baby dies ,or when,

you hear the hearbeat one last time,

and never ever again...

the doc continues ranting,

but i'm already gone,

having long ago discovered

to steadily press on...

finally the sun shines;

our night is put to rest,

but we still have our paperwork

and an awful, slimey mess.

we stay until we're finished,

foregoing overtime,

since management would argue,

over every single dime.

so seldom they say thankyou-

we rarely hear, "nice work!"

and there isn't any backing,

if the doctor is a jerk....

the or wants us all to scrub,

every single case,

recover,assess,deliver too,

in the middle of this pace....

every night's a challenge,

where we are compelled to float-

i hate to even go in;

there's a tightness in my throat...

we love our er counterparts,

but they turf expectant moms so quick,

that i'm puzzled they had any time,

to determine she was sick...

and as to ob nurses knowing nothing,

when we are forced to float,

we're more trained than most staff

if i may pause to gloat...

we have to recover patients,

code them so we have acls and then,

we have nals and pals to take,

and so much more, my friends...

we have dvts, and cardiac arrest,

and i can handle emergencies

with the best of all the best...

yep, we have our down moments,

when patients are a healthy group,

followed by catastrophe,

when we rapidly regroup...

if i hear, "maternity is an easy place to work."

one more time from some ignorant soul,

i might go bazerk!"

i cannot spell, i'm tired,

this night has whipped my a**,

and we aren't even done yet,

but theres daylight now, at last.

the bottom line is obvious,

at least it is for me,

delivery is an amazing place,

as is all maternity...

despite occasional mayhem,

and an unpredictable pace,

we tolerate the madness,

which is rampant in this place,

because with every baby,

there's new life in which to share,

which is truly inspirational,

and the reason we are there.

so, whether we have chaos, catastrophe or strife,

there is nothing more affirming

than to greet a brand new life.

homeward i am traveling,

thinking all the while,

thanyou god, for guiding us,

( i send a skyward smile),

and although i'm very happy,

to be exiting the "zoo",

i'll be back again tonight,

just as good as new...

by. martha j. crowninshield o'brien rn

labor and delivery.....

[Sable's mom]

Amen!!!

If I hear one more person say "it must be fun to rock babies all night" I won't be responsible for my actions.

I love OB, but it is NOT easy.

[chad75]

Cute poem :) for the record I never thought OB nurses had it easy, you couldn't pay me to deal with expecting mothers! Plus the OB nurse is usually the first to float !

[SmilingBluEyes]

VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY COOL!!!

i like it.