"you're just not ready..."

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Hi! i posted in a different thread, but i think this one is more fitting. Quickly, Im a new grad just starting on a crazy step down ICU unit. everyone is on tele, so it's sort of just a tele med/surg..anyways, i am ending my 5th out of 6 weeks of orientation. I just need some advicec, because im tired of crying everyday after my shift! My preceptor is horrid! she rushes me and truly expects me to be as knowlegable and as fast as her! she has this white glove way of catching ALLL of my paperwork mistakes. As a matter of fact she just told me that she doesnt feel im ready to be on my own because i miss so many "little things". i was devastated! im safe, but im not ready because im not good at crossing all my Ts and dotting all my Is? she says she thinks "ill drown" when on my own because i take so long to do an admission and all my charting isnt immaculate. i understand the importance of thorough charting, and the paperwork bring filled out properly at all times, but is this enough to warrent a "you're just not ready." mind you after that comment, she dropped me from 4 pts to 2...and i have one week left to go! im confused, embarrassed..because she picks at all the "little things", but i feel i do a good job and work super hard. i spend the majority of my shift trying to check and double check and triple check everything and she STILL can find something to point out as a mistake! UGH! i seriously almost quit the other day, because i rarely get any positive feedback....just all my screwups....is she right? am i really going to drown? im sooo sick to my stomach, because all i do is stress HARDER when i have to go to work and try so hard to do everything correctly only to fail at the end of my shift...:crying2:

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Specializes in Cath Lab/ ICU.

Sweetie-it's those "little things" that kill pts.

Is the "dotting i's and crossing t's that prevent you from being sued or losing your license.

Sounds like your preceptor is hard on you so that you will become a safe practitioner. Be grateful, do what she asks, try to improve.

It may suck, but you really may not be ready, tele may not be for you.

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A step-down ICU med/surg unit has got to be one of the hardest places for a new grad to start. So first off, bravo for jumping into the deep end of the pool and just realize that its going to take awhile before you feel totally comfortable. A 6 week orientation sounds way too short to me so if I were you I would welcome some extra orientation time. Even though your preceptor isn't very supportive I'd rather have someone to lean back on and mandated to be available to my questions than to be off-orientation in a sink-or-swim situation.

It sucks that your preceptor isn't able to give you accolades along with constructive criticism but having someone so hard on you right off the bat will probably only make you a better nurse later on. The poster above is right. Nurses are anal for a reason-the little things matter and blowing off the not dotting the i's and crossing the t's is a sign that maybe you aren't ready just yet. If an experienced nurse is telling you you aren't doing something right don't blow it off as she's being too critical: write-it down, remind yourself of it, and be sure to have it covered with every patient so that you are building good habits and covering your bases. As you get experienced later down the line you have the clinical knowledge and experience to know how safely to cut corners but as a new grad its just bad habits and does not reflect well on you (we all go through this just make a habit of keeping on your toes of not making the same oversights every time, showing that your making this effort goes a long way).

All new grads hope and dream of having the perfect preceptor that guides us through the horrendous first year or two of nursing with compliments and constructive criticism but most of us just don't get this. I'd rather have a preceptor who is a hard ass than someone who doesn't care and isn't giving me any feedback or who gives me way too much rope (in which to hang myself). I think what you are going through is just realizing how hard the first year is (esp. in med/surg). I am so sorry its not going better for you. Keep your head up and just keep showing up. It should get better. Also extend your orientation time and ask for a different preceptor if you think it will help. Good luck to you. You are not alone in feeling this way!

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P.S. one really important thing I had to learn was don't take everything so personally. She is not attacking you personally. Don't get defensive. Think of it as a boot camp where you are willing to do anything to be the best nurse possible and she is your drill sargeant who is going to pick you apart at every chance she gets because in the long run she knows that it will make you a better nurse. If she doesn't think you're ready it doesn't mean that you don't have the potential to be an awesome nurse. It means that your unit is especially challenging for new grads and you need some extra support and guidance before you are cut looose to the very stressful and challenging situation of being on your own. Start each day as a challenge-saying I will not let her find anything wrong with my charting...and someday you will...

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Specializes in Cath Lab/ ICU.

Well said newgrad...

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

Feeling your pain. 6th week of orientation and had a very fragmented day that resulted in me waking up all night going "Did I remember to...?" (yes, I did). I finally gave up on sleep and came here. Feels good to know I'm not alone.

Tomorrow I'm going to be so perfect my orientor feels left out!

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