Quit after 2 months

[gman6362]

Hello I need help. I will begin by admitting I made a big mistake and that I need the advice/guidance from those who may have been in a similar situation or even heard of someone who has.

In Dec. 2018 I graduated with an Associate's in Nursing. In late Mar. 2019 I passed the NCLEX and am currently a RN. I began to apply to new RN programs because I felt like that was the best way to go in terms of training and transitioning from graduate to brand new nurse because you know the first year is scary! Well by May I was feeling a lot of pressure from both family and bills to enter the field soon. So a family member had reached out an old friend who is a nurse and they sent me a link to apply to a skilled nursing facility that was both a rehabilitation and long-term care. Not doing thorough research and feeling desperate for a job I jumped on the application and within the same week was called for an interview. I did great in the interview and was hired on the spot. I was elated. I mean this is what I worked so hard for in nursing school. I am an RN! I naively believed that because the patients were not on ventilators that the job would be less stressful. I mean I feared critically ill patients because I feared the greater risk of harming such fragile patients. Little did I know what was headed my way.

In the interview I was assured that I would receive 2 months of orientation. What had actually occurred was 3 weeks and the night before my first shift they did not even clarify to me that I was going to be independent. I was terrified but it's time to grow up and handle it so I braced myself because this is nursing. I don't think any of us are truly ready no matter how long we have had orientation.

Any who, the job became really stressful. I was running on low sleep, skipping lunches, and would cry every single day before I came to work, privately in the bathroom at work, and when I left work. On my good days I would have 12 patients. Out of those 12 patients 3 received tube feedings, 3 would have low 02 sats, 1 on seizure precautions, 1 could not keep anything down: meds or food, and 1 geriatric who was fragile and fought treatment. I constantly ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. I felt completely incompetent. Especially when I would give report to the night nurse who would sigh and be annoyed every night and a doctor with a reputation to chew nurses head off. I had support from the other nurse on the floor (we will call her Jane) meaning she would answer questions however she was know to be the queen bee of the facility and the other nurse was her best friend (we will call her Mary). Together, it felt like high school. To paint you a picture the ADON, nurse manager, and those 2 nurses all took a week off and went on a cruise together. One occurrence that stood out the most to me was the one day we were overstaffed. For approx. 24 patients we usually only have 2 nurses on the floor. However today we had 3 nurses so I took on my usual 13 patients and Mary took on the remainder. Jane was to help with the paperwork. However, not my paperwork she only helped her friend, an experienced nurse. I did not complain I just went on with my day. At 4pm nearly 2 hours before my shift would end I had yet to receive my break because I was crazy busy. I was feeling really light headed and found an opportunity to go on break before the next med pass. So I asked the other nurses if I could go on break. They told me sure but after you help Mary do an intake assessment. I could not believe it because Jane had no patients and was capable of doing the task. I mean I found them sitting there gossiping, doing absolutely nothing! Then I, the new nurse, was thrown onto the long-term floor with a patient load of 32-40 patients to one nurse because the residents complained of Mary and she hated that floor. The worst was when I committed my first med error. I thought I seriously harmed the patient (only to find out they were fine) and was going to jail. I gave the job 2 months because in the end I was afraid of harming the patients. I needed more training and quite frankly just could not handle the stress anymore.

When I left the job (more like ran from it) I swore off nursing, to never return. (Obviously I was only talking in the moment.) Well a little time had passed a I knew that me swearing off nursing was not true. I worked too hard to become a nurse and it was the dream career I chose from the age of 4. So I put in an application for a new RN program and was denied. Next thing I new Dec. 2019 approached and I was no longer considered a new RN. Most programs you have to been within a year of your graduation date to apply. More time passed and I was rejected from jobs because I was not a new RN but lacked experience to considered for a Med/Surg position.

My fear is that I am no longer marketable. I fear no one will want to hire me because I am too far removed from my graduation date AND previous position which ended late July 2019. In my opinion they may believe that I lost too much nursing knowledge. At this point what are my options?

[disarrayofsunshine, BSN, RN]

@gman6362

I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you're going through this. I am kind of going through the same thing where I took a job because I wasn't getting any other offers.

Advice I have gotten is to keep applying. Even if you don't check of all the boxes on minimum requirements, apply. Dedicate some time each day to go on job boards (Indeed, LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Google) and apply to jobs everyday. If you also had a good school, you can talk to the career center or resource center, and see if they may be able to help you find one or even fine tune your resume/cover letter.

May I ask what specialty you are most interested in?