I am a new nurse (graduated last year), 23 y/o, and comes off as a push over. I'm the extremely friendly person who is ALWAYS smiling, and you would probably poop a brick if you ever heard me raise my voice. The thing is, I have a temper, I just don't show it because I have yet to master how to be angry and professional at the same time. I work with a lot of people who lack tact, and most of them are old enough to be my mother. My CNAs can be very sorry (most of them, not all) and from what I have seen, the way other nurses get them to do their job is by, pretty much, getting ugly. I don't feel that is professional, but when I approach them in a professional manner, no one takes "the little girl" seriously. The administrative staff does not support the nurses at all; the CNAs run the facility. I don't know if I am asking for advice or just venting....I guess I am venting...thanks for listening.:)
Years ago, a doctor decided I was on the brink of borderline hypertension, so he recommended me for a study on progressive muscle relaxation and BP. It was sorta interesting, I went from high normal to mid-normal, and I got paid a hundred bucks for relaxing. So, later, when I was contacted for a study on anger mgt, I wasn't unwilling, but I admitted to the psychologist that I probably wasn't a good candidate, since I never got angry. To which she replied, I really needed her program. And she was right. Anger is not a negative emotion. It has it's place. Over the years, I've learned to be a lot more assertive, and part of that is realizing that I have a right to be angry about some things, and acting upon that anger is not the same as acting out. It's still a work in progress, but if we are going to be effective nurses, we have to progress, because we have to advocate for our patients.
Thanks everyone. I'm sooo glad to know that I'm not the only one having this problem. I'm going to work on my assertiveness...I can't take this crap anymore.
See if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program. If so, they are a great resource for learning things like assertiveness and on-the-job communication skills.
It's important that you choose your battles, communicate in ways that indicate strength rather than fear or weakness, and follow through with write-ups or other consequences as needed. Also, catch people doing things right and thank them. Let others know that you notice both the good and the bad.
nursemike, ASN, RN
1 Article; 2,362 Posts
Years ago, a doctor decided I was on the brink of borderline hypertension, so he recommended me for a study on progressive muscle relaxation and BP. It was sorta interesting, I went from high normal to mid-normal, and I got paid a hundred bucks for relaxing. So, later, when I was contacted for a study on anger mgt, I wasn't unwilling, but I admitted to the psychologist that I probably wasn't a good candidate, since I never got angry. To which she replied, I really needed her program. And she was right. Anger is not a negative emotion. It has it's place. Over the years, I've learned to be a lot more assertive, and part of that is realizing that I have a right to be angry about some things, and acting upon that anger is not the same as acting out. It's still a work in progress, but if we are going to be effective nurses, we have to progress, because we have to advocate for our patients.