psychotic break?

[RNBSC]

Advice please. I did a horrible thing. I do not know why I did it. I lied, to a colleague. Had no reason to lie, I had no gain, and only loss as a result. She asked a question, and I denied.

I had an attention seeking resident. The resident was found sitting on some pillows and blankets, and stated that she woke up, sitting on this pile of stuff. Pt refused to get up, so we used a lift. I denied the whole thing, for no reason .Was I sabotaging myself? I don't know.

I did tell the sup, about half hour later, that we did get her up, cause she would not help. I also mad the state report, etc.

I still feel awful, like I have no integrity, and should not be part of this profession, because I lied. My coworkers say forget about it, but I'm shaken. I don't know why I lied, I knew I was lying, and could not make myself stop.

Help?

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I'm a bit mystified by the title of you post as nothing you have stated implies either the patient or yourself being psychotic? Can you elaborate?

Hppy

[RNBSC]

Speaking about myself- I lied to a coworker ~ and the day before to one of my family members.

This is not in my character - and both times I was not able to shut my mouth- so I thought I was having a breakdown. I don’t know why I did it- felt like I shouldn’t be a nurse r/t lack of integrity. Since incident I have spoken to all affected and apologized. I still feel icky about it- though no one was harmed, etc. Still trying to figure out why, what made me do it,etc. Everyone has assured me that it’s ok, I’m forgiven. Still self punishing in a way, and still feel anxiety associated with it though.

[JKL33]

Please connect the dots here to improve your chances of helpful feedback.

What's this deal with the pillow lady, and why was a confession and state report necessary?

Was this a matter where you know she was sitting there on purpose but it could have been alleged that she fell?

Or did you know she fell and told this whole story as a lie to cover up the fall?

**

As far as your other instances of lying to a coworker and a family member: It sounds like you are having difficulty over a behavior that is out of character for you. It also kinda sounds like there are some overtones of severe self-judgment involved. There's nothing wrong with talking to a professional about all of this if it would help you process it. ?

[RNBSC]

I feel like I did process it/ finally - even more embarrassed that I put anything in print about my behavior- and you are right- everyone that I have spoken to has commented on how hard I am on myself. I do know where that comes from and worked for 6 painful years with a terrific therapist, to get help with that. Looks like I may need a tune up visit - that really good therapist died- and I will need to establish relationship with a psychologist - hopefully will find a good fit soon. Thank you