lemur00

Don't confuse love and "love-bombing". People clap and post memes, meanwhile in my province we've been working without a contract for two years while we battle a pay cut and for our hard won right to determine staffing. To be fair we're better off than a lot of nurses. But it tells you how much love there is that marginally decent working conditions are considered giving us "too much". They don't love us, they just need us to overexpend ourselves for them yet again and when the dust settles they can go back to kicking us and telling us we're greeedy for wanting decent pay and staffing. This is just manipulating us to do more with less once again and more likely it will become an expected norm as we "proved" we could do it. There is research showing that people tend to be fine with exploiting those who do a "passion" or "calling" kind of job. This is a narrative that is pushed on us every time we are called "heroes". Well, you accept that mantle then you better act like a hero and be selfless. I say let them prove they support us by supporting unionization, manditory ratios, raises, better safety measures, et c. Then we might believe the sappy memes. And that I think might be the real value of the otherwise empty accolades. We may be able to leverage this good will to shame people into supporting our demands for better working conditions. But that has to come from us. As the self-help people used to say, no one is really going to love you if you don't love yourself.

It would be a stereotype if I had assumed this was always the case, which my wording intentionally precludes. It is, however, a generalization that has been shown to have an evidence base, both anecdotally and in various types of research.

It really isn't. A 50/50 split doesn't mean just money. Often in a financially unequal relationship, the disparity is made up for in other ways. For example the 1950s housewife that's been thrown around worked as the manager of the household for free. So she in essence "earned" half that income by making it possible for her husband to work. The income disparity was offset by other contributions. Women were fine with running the household, cooking, cleaning, et c because their husbands made bigger financial contributions and it felt like everyone pulled their weight. This is of course the "invisible work" of feminist lore. In modern times, most women are working equally and earning outside income but still bear the entirety of the household management role. Even if their husbands and children do chores, it's because the "manager" notices and asks/demands it be done. This actually makes for a less equal contribution breakdown with men of the modern era generally contributing less to a home than they have at any other time. There area a lot of reasons for that, but it has bred resentment in many women who don't need their spouses for income and begin to wonder what they're actually good for. They think "can't he *at least* match my income so its not 70/30 in EVERYTHING?" Money is often cited as the issue because for some time that was the thing men contributed, but it is really just a general disparity in contributing anything. What is interesting to me is that the invisible manager is the same role nurses take on at a larger scale--that of care coordination and management, of making sure everyone is doing their job. It's almost second nature for nurses. We're good at over-functioning to meet pt needs. At catching everyone's mistakes or making them do what needs to be done or doing it ourselves when they won't. And many of us like to have that control over everything, even if we hate that it isn't noticed or appreciated. Of course, just like in a home, this creates an environment where others increasingly under-function, expecting us to pick up the slack. And then we get burnt out. So I think we can all understand the op's problem on some level. When you are getting it both at work and at home, it's hard not to be resentful. The only real answer is to stop over-functioning, which is a very hard thing to do, especially for nurses. That's where counseling is helpful, the kind that helps you to take ownership of a situation and also helps you set boundaries. I'd also say to op that it's really important to realize that what you expect from your loved ones, your job, et c may be totally *reasonable*, but not necessarily *realistic*. That is, maybe people should get it but they might never be able to. From experience, it's a bitter pill to swallow but it gives you a different perspective and often allows you to start moving forward.

All this trouble could have been saved with an oxford comma ? Ie "...garbage shifts, and positions no one can fill..." Oxford comma ftw. That said, I would guess like others that the position is for one of multiple ICUs, or floats between them. Otherwise something may have changed within the facility, *or* manager is trying to see how desperately she wants a job and what she'll accept. Either way, it's good that this was mentioned early. Now all she has to do is politely and firmly say she's interested in only icu--the position may materialize after that if she's that strong of a candidate. And if they really are pulling a bait and switch, it's not a place she'd likely want to be anyway. Having a regional system we never deal with this, but experienced critical care positions are usually hard to fill. I can't see why they'd want to let someone that could fill one slip away and I would guess they'd find a position that was acceptable to her.

Extenuating circumstances are a thing when it comes to real justice. And the purpose of law is ostensibly meant to be justice (though it rarely is). This is why most law systems have moved to a focus on rehabilitation rather than retribution. Retribution might feel right, but it rarely serves anyone. For those who said it, it means nothing to justice that you personally wouldn't "forgive". That's simply an emotional reaction. Justice is also rarely cut-and-dried. Nor is the justice system always concerned with justice. Many missteps from the war on drugs to life sentences for felony murder to notorious plea bargains show this. Much of it is politics used by the powerful against the powerless, as it's quite clear this case is. Because we know how the health system really works, I think most of us are capable of seeing through the smokescreen the hospital is using to deflect any blame from its own practices. If several people in administration were also charged for the decision-making structure that led to the nurse being unable to perform certain parts of her duties (specifically the monitoring), that might change things. But they aren't. Additionally the charges do not appear to fit the crime. Claiming "reckless" homicide clearly is making a judgement about the thought process of the nurse that I'm not sure can be supported. This requires that she knew she was putting the patient at risk and proceeded knowing this. I think that would be very difficult to prove, especially if they're using pyxis override to do it. They *should* be fully aware that everyone needs to do this all the time simply because pharmacy hasn't processed stat orders. Pushing in this direction anyway suggests strongly that this is an intentional deflection and that she is their scapegoat, just as every poor person with a crack rock was to the "tough on crime" advocates of the 90s. Sure they did something wrong, but they were punished in proxy so that the real problems that put them there would not have to be addressed. Iirc, this same hospital was forcing nurses to do housekeeping duties. This would be at least one systemic contributing factor, and I'd guess there is likely no real union in this hospital either. How many tasks was this nurse expected to do in 12 hours that she felt she needed to hurry the process on in this way? I think this shows there is a discussion that needs to happen and that is how we as nurses are shouldering the Sisyphan burden of jobs that multiple people couldn't get done, plus everyone else's jobs, plus dealing with assaults and harassment and then blamed for all of them when we simply couldn't do the impossible. And now charged. It's very much a reality of nursing that we were taught "best practices" and then quickly learn we will never be allowed to practice that way by hospital administrations. I am personally convinced best practice guidelines exist solely to provide a framework for blaming a single nurse when things go bad due to systemic failures, as I suspect had happened here. They don't want you to actually follow them. As I've said previously, I think this can be proven by the fact that "work to rule" is an effective labour resistance technique. Nursing is like spinning straw into gold. This situation shows it and raises the question, how do we say "enough"? How do we protect the lives of patients and ourselves against what the profession is being turned into? It's something we need to answer sooner rather than later.

Yeah, most discussions of "PC" succumb quickly to the "no true Scotsman" fallacy. It's helpful to actually define political correctness. Political correctness in the 90s had to do mostly with allowing marginalized groups to have a say and was concerned with diversifying conversations and education in particular. It eventually came to mean being considerate of the cultural differences between oneself and others. Since then it has become an epithet for anyone who is more sensitive than I am on a subject, like it's twin term, "snowflake". No one applies it to themselves. It has also basically become a tool of manipulation, as this controversy showed. No one cared about this tacky song until the ominous banshee wail of "political correctness" threatened to steal it away from us! DUN DUNDUN. To arms people! Save the saccharine drivel! What's interesting about the song controversy is that it could have just been dropped quietly. Times change. People used to keep slavery memorabilia that makes their grandchildren cringe. It's schlock and schlock doesn't age well. No one would have missed it much. But that's not what happened. Instead it was played for outrage and attention, and of course the ominous spectre of "PC" was dragged out like a modern krampus to terrify everyone. Christmas is always ripe for exactly such schemes, which is why we need to be wary of them. The real "sensitivity" was on the part of those manipulated to be sooo upset they were going to lose a cheesy song no one cared about the year before (I note cynically that the popularity of the song also soared--suddenly it was being played everywhere as an act of "resistance"). It's not like something as culturally significant as Handel's Messiah was being threatened, just this song written in a time when wife beating was played for humour and women were portrayed as idiots who needed a man to tell them what to do. It isn't even a Christmas song. So what exactly are we losing again and why does it matter? Oh because we don't want evil "PC" to win. Right. It seemed to me this was simply another divisive social media manipulation devised in time for Christmas and had nothing to do with being considerate of others but was designed to do the opposite. In fact social media tends to exploit the more tribal and antagonistic aspects of human nature in exactly this manner. Then the anti-pc brigade, having chosen their "side", complain that everyone is too sensitive. The irony is more tangy than miracle whip. Maybe the acceptance of differing points of view starts with you and me, and not those other people. And maybe it's not going to kill us if one cheesy song doesn't get constant rotation. Maybe there are more important things to worry about.

In Canada we have long mat leaves so positions are usually filled temporarily for a year and a half to cover that leave. In SK we can also revert to our original line in three months if we don't like the new position. It makes the moves less risky to make but also means a lot of people bounce around. I boomeranged to a job because I had taken a temp line to get out of there then was forced back when it ended. In desperation, I took a line in a totally different field and hated it so I reverted and returned the second time before finally getting a permanent line on the unit I wanted to be on. That all happened over the course of a year. The first time I came back I was miserable and got out as soon as possible. The second time, because I had chosen to revert and accept the risk of returning, it was more positive.

I feel your pain. We had a pt that somehow obtained the site manager's number and called to complain vociferously that the nurses were purposefully neglecting her by refusing to get her water and ice while they ran a code in the next bed. You laugh so you don't cry.

It's true. I was a 45 year old bitter divorcee in a child's body. My dad called me "little grandma". One time we were discussing crazy things kids do, and I noted that I never did any of those things. My dad replied "that's because you were never a kid".

On nights we rearrange the teams or work a team alone (we have rn/lpn teams in most facilities and units), or there will be float coverage (not necessarily someone on the unit though). We also have evening and weekend managers who can approve calling in people from other units, close beds, or sometimes they will help if the situation warrants it. Still we're not expected to remain after the shift is done. Rural is a little different due to having less staff, but usually the oncoming nurses are expected to figure out how to cover all patients if relief isn't found. Eta: additionally our union just won a fight to enshrine in the contract language that gives charge the right to call out overtime in the absence of a nurse manager. This is because the regions are creating planned shortages and not calling out shifts, hoping that people won't notice or something. They don't really want to give people that much OT.

I always found this odd. None of the facilities I've ever worked in has made staff stay. You can choose to stay for a while for ot, but if you're working 12s you can only stay for 4 hours anyway because it's against the law to work more than 16 at a time here. And most people will only extend if it's their last shift in a row. The incoming nurses are expected to cover the patients, never the nurse from the last shift. When you're short staffed on a shift, people take a bigger patient load or educators and charge help on the floor. We do extra things to help them, but when our shift is done, we go home without a second thought.

We've been short of urinals and had cutlery removed in the last year or so (this is in Canada). We were told it was because of the stupid lean process though. The service aid had a bunch of urinals secretly hoarded in a locked room no one ever uses on my old unit but I found them.

I did with no harm. Since there is only one employer here, I didn't need to say who it was. They are listed as my employer, which I've tried to make private but it keeps showing up. That just means being careful about posting, which probably isn't a bad thing and something I don't do a tonne of anyway.

My understanding of HSPs is that they process sensory input much more intensely and thoroughly, thus less input is needed and also tolerated. The downside of that is that the threshold for sensory input becoming annoying or overwhelming is lower, because the senses are much more strongly attuned. I have a lot of the traits of an HSP; my sense of touch in particular is more developed than most people, as is my ability to see in the dark. For example I never use a flashlight to do night rounds--I can see the patients perfectly well, and often can do many tasks in semi darkness just fine. But correspondingly, I can't stand bright lights, sunny days et c. I remember when I was a student, we were all rotated into er by one of our instructors who worked there. Everyone was so excited to go except me. Sure enough I hated it.

If they do, they'll have to do away with shift work and other stressors, since these contribute to obesity. ... That said, if a facility wanted to help improve employee health, there are a lot systemic changes that can be made from the top with no change in the employee's lifestyle. Social determinants and all that.

If anyone is wondering what the outcome of this case was, here it is. In a precedent-setting decision, the body that regulates Saskatchewan’s nurses has said a nurse who posted on Facebook about her grandfather’s health care experience is guilty of professional misconduct | Saskatoon StarPhoenix

My first thought would be this... If they don't adequately staff their unit, it's not your problem. Those in power in facilities like this never seem to understand that this kind of crap is exactly why no one wants to work for them, and I doubt think they ever will. But just because they refuse to admit it doesn't mean they get to slough their responsibility off to staff. The manager is the person who should be covering. Pheh.

Canadian too 😃 We use paper charts, addressographs, and kardexes until they pried them away from us a few years ago. Pyxis came in after I finished school a few years ago, and licensure exams were three times a year. The unit I just started on even has the shifts charting in different colors. I'll be honest, I read this forum and I see where our health care system is going to be in 20 years. And I'm glad I can retire in just 17.

I've never seen it. Even when I was a kid nurses wore pastels.

Meh people can talk whatever they want in personal conversations. But work related conversations do need to be had in the language of the facility. Thing is, sometimes the personal and the professional blend in one conversation at the desk or chart room. For example, I've seen English speaking nurses held responsible for patient information given by the aides in another language while chatting--even though they forgot to translate the necessary info into English for that nurse. That's a potential patient safety issue and effects your work. I've seen it more in ltc than acute though. I've also had co workers get angry with patients who ask them to speak English when providing care. They complain such patients are "racist". But really, you're providing direct care, you should not be excluding the patient from your conversation. It does make them think you're saying rude things about them because you're occupied with their care. It also makes them feel like an object you're not even interacting with. So don't be surprised if they speak up about it, and don't try to deflect the wrong onto them. Other than those things, truly personal conversations are probably insignificant anyway. But then I hate small talk.

Oh for some reason I could only see the first page of replies.

The first thing I learned in nursing school is that this term is basically a wax nose and isn't exactly used by nurses the same way it is in other disciplines (where it's much clearer in meaning). However it usually refers to knowledge application to a situation, and there is cross over with other disciplines in terms of analysis and judgement. Trying to get nurse educators to define it can prove to be interesting though--most I've asked have said some variation of "use your critical thinking to figure out critical thinking". Kind of like the first response--we won't tell you, you must figure it out. Quite helpful. I think what that does is create a user defined term, which explains the varigation. It gains contextual variation--that is, most nurses just guess at what it means based on the contexts it gets used in. It may be that nurses leave it undefined, in the same way health is often undefined by the public, so that it can take on those nuanced contextual meanings. Or more likely, most don't know the actual definition because it also functions in nursing as a strong in-group password. Either you get it or you don't and if I have to tell you you're not a good nurse. So it is left undefined even though the term does, in fact, have a straight forward meaning everywhere else. To be honest though I find it's most often used to say someone is stupid or doing something wrong: "she needs to use her critical thinking more" "where is your critical thinking" etc. It's also interesting that the specific language construction is unique to nurses (eg use critical thinking as opposed to think critically, as if it is a commodity rather than an action). I think this is telling in that to use it the way other disciplines do (ie think critically) reveals more clearly what the term is meant to convey. In nursing, it really is just in-group jargon. That said, it also points to the knowledge application function, the common one for nursing.

Good advice here. But you definitely need to do something with this situation, op. It sounds like you are making contingency plans for yourself and kids. But the first thing you need to do if you're going to be able to support yourself and them is not to allow abusers to control your life. Independence is as independence does. First rule of being independent: YOU run your life. Not some manipulative abuser, no matter what you think he holds over you. Their power over you is power YOU give them. Unless you break this pattern, it will likely just continue with someone else. Manipulators can tell exactly the "type" their tricks will work on, and if you don't stop the ride there will always be others getting on, even if you escape this or that one. Don't be afraid of setting boundaries and being assertive, rather see it as another challenge on the path to get what you want. The same path that made you pursue nursing. Change your perspective: you're not jeopardizing your career if you report him; you are protecting it. You are doing what you need to in order to continue nursing. *He* is jeopardizing your career with predatory behaviour. Ironically, part of taking control is refusing to allow abusers to shift blame to us as if we are the problem. As others have said, first assert your autonomy and say no. Then deal with the repercussions as advised. And know that in taking control you will possibly have saved both your career and your life, either now or in the future. You have more options and more power than you think. Use them.

One of the nurses I knew that worked up north said "you have to be bats***t crazy to be a northern nurse". Another that worked on Baffin Island for years admitted to having a complete suicide plan when she worked up there. There are lots of stabbings, suicides and critical incidents up north, with no support. And I mean you're literally alone doing a lot of physician work. It's the definition of isolation. No one would work up there without being paid well, and even then for some there is not enough pay in the world to convince them to go back up there. And then a lot of that handsome pay goes to buying a half moldy head of lettuce for like 15 dollars. That said, the callback abuse does happen. Our union cracked down on it in the northern part of our province in the last contract. But really, can't totally blame them for getting what they can. Northern nursing is hard.

Not gonna lie, I planned for egregious spending in my first year of working. I bought everything I told myself to wait until I was done school for: a big rock, clothes, trips to see my friends and a very expensive sewing machine. I paid cash for it all so I can't say I overspent. Though as I said almost all of it was planned spending. I have no kids and I paid my own way through school so going from cutting my own hair and budgeting down to my last dollar, to getting whatever I wanted was fun. After that first year I had all the stuff I had went without, so I could cut back considerably.