I am the one who keeps the roster prepare the scheduling of nursing staff for in service classes and mandatory classes. Our policy is that anyone who needs it has to make a copy of it.
A nurse educator took my roster and refused to give it back to me for 3 days. In the meantime I had to accomplish a deadline by using the roster.
This nurse knows that sometimes I can have a bad temper due to emotional conditions (take medicine for that). I asked for the roster to make a copy of it for myselt. She refused to give it to me again.
We had an argument over this and I get upset and she even had the nerve to call hospital police as if I was the one at fault. Hospital police and my immediate supervisor supported her because of her status of Nurse Educator. Does this constitutes professional misconduct? Please let me know what you think. I was very aggravated by the presence of hospital police to watch me. I appreciate your comments/suggestions. Because I am clerk I should be abused? Thank you.
NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU ANGRY. YOU MAKE YOURSELF ANGRY. You are the ONLY one in control of your emotions and nobody can make you hurt, sad, happy, angry or any other feeling without you letting them- or in other words you choosing how you will feel.
This is such an excellent post. Such a perfect response to give to anyone with anger management problems (like my DH) I will definitely remember these words.
my son has adhd. he also has a hard time controlling himself when he gets frustrated. when i get a note from the teacher telling me my son had to spend time in the principal's office i will ask him why he misbehaved.
his answer," well, i lost control mommy. i don't think my pill worked this morning."
my response: " i don't want to hear that. your pill only helps you stay calm you do the rest. if you feel yourself losing control then take a deep breath and remove yourself from whatever is bothering you."
i have had this conversation with him many times over the past three years. he has learned now he is responsible for his actions-godd or bad.
bertitia, i would humbly suggest you look at your self this way too. having a condition that requires medication does not exempt you from controlling yourself. sorry, but that is what i see.
by the way, my son just turned eight years old. if he can learn the control thing i think you can too.
Okay... this made no sense at all. Being biased against what? Someone who cannot control themselves to the point that the police have to be called? Sure, I'm biased against unstable people like that in the workplace.
Calling the police that doesn't make the caller better or just. Hello? How many crooks call the police?
There is one comment I have concerning this statement. It would seem that you have inadequate control of your emotional conditions if this is common knowledge and you should probably talk with you physician about a reimen change to help get this under better control.
I would also have disciplinary action started as you made another person feel threatened enough to call in the "police" . In the world outside of the hospital this is called assault.
Bertita (OP), you said you are a clerk, right? Just wanting to get a clear picture here, your profile says Rn-phd? :)
I am not a nurse. But work with tons of them and there are great, good and bad ones. I am going to close my account, I am very discoraged with the so many closed minds and many silly reasons given, etc.
NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU ANGRY. YOU MAKE YOURSELF ANGRY. You are the ONLY one in control of your emotions and nobody can make you hurt, sad, happy, angry or any other feeling without you letting them- or in other words you choosing how you will feel.
This is such an excellent post. Such a perfect response to give to anyone with anger management problems (like my DH) I will definitely remember these words.
I am not angry. I am very happy that I reported a crook to HR.
Bertita, you need to stop looking at yourself as a victim who should be excluded from the consequences of your own behavior because of an emotional condition. Every job has it's stressors and people are not necessarily going to treat you differentially simply because YOU think they should because you have a condition.
Very true words. We are all expected to control our behavior in the workplace, irregardless of circumstance or the factors involved in a situation. Whether or not the nurse educator deliberately chose to bait you with the intent to make you lose your temper, it does not excuse your response. After requesting the roster back and her refusing to give it back, you could have taken the situation to your superior, especially since you had a deadline to meet. You didn't, you chose to argue with her about it to the point that it got heated enough for the hospital police to be called. Once one gives in to anger, they lose control of the situation.
You can either sit there and play the victim, feel like your the one abused and biased against, or you can learn from this experience.
I don't play a victim. I am a victim of abuse. I don't feel abused. I am abused and biased against. I learned a lot from this experience. I learned THAT DON'T TO BE SCARED AND CONFRONT THE ABUSER IS TERRIFIC. This nurse will think twice before abusing anyone else.
im sorry i think its sad when someone has a weakness,and this someone knew she has that problem took advanceage of it ok. how would you like if someone was missing with you weakness?
Still that someone would be a crook for not following policies
who says the educator was taking advantage of the woman's weakness. she needed the roster. if the clerk also needed it, well that's what copy machines are for. the clerk should have made a copy before handing the roster over if the roster is so important.
the point is, the op knows she has a terrible temper and is using that as an excuse to let loose. she's not taking any responsibility for her own actions. it doesn't matter if she's taking meds for it. she still needs to learn to control herself. it's unprofessional and anyone who, for any reason creates a hostile work environment should be strongly disciplined.
i have to come down on the side of the majority here. people cannot go around blaming bad behaviors on their "conditions" when it's convenient.
ok. i can not believe there are so many dull people around:
1- when did i say i handed the roster over? the nurse took it and withheld it.
2- you "forgot" to spell out op. what does that mean?
3- asserting oneself is getting loose? hello?
4- the nurse should be strongly disciplined for creating a crooked work environment.
5- it was very convenient that the nurse abused me because she thought i was going to eat her abuse while very stressed out; however she was wrong.
My son has ADHD. He also has a hard time controlling himself when he gets frustrated. When I get a note from the teacher telling me my son had to spend time in the principal's office I will ask him why he misbehaved.
his answer," Well, I lost control mommy. I don't think my pill worked this morning."
my response: " I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT. Your pill only helps you stay calm you do the rest. If you feel yourself losing control then take a deep breath and remove yourself from whatever is bothering you."
I have had this conversation with him many times over the past three years. He has learned now he is responsible for his actions-godd or bad.
Bertitia, I would humbly suggest you look at your self this way too. Having a condition that requires medication does not exempt you from controlling yourself. Sorry, but that is what I see.
By the way, my son just turned eight years old. If he can learn the control thing I think you can too.
gr8rnpjt, RN
738 Posts