Preceptor Advice (pre-nursing, currently EMT)

[OliverOken]

This might be kind of long but I want to explain everything that happened so I can get some professional and unbiased advice from people who don’t know me. 
So, I recently started as an EMT, next step is nursing school which is why I came to this forum. Hope that’s OK.... Anyways. 

 This week would have completed my fourth week. 
My first week went well. I got compliments on how I handled a patient, a older guy who worked there said he’d gladly take me as his partner any day, and my driving skills are better than most people who just start.    
Fast forward to the end of week two, I get put as a third with two different people. One who is a charge medic and the other girl who’s been an EMT at this facility for 6 years. The medic has a reputation of being an *** and everyone has told me to take him with a grain of salt. 
However, we run a call and he literally YELLS at me in front of this patient and his family. The stretcher was supposed to go “feet first” which he was in control
of, but he just kept screaming at me “FEET FIRST! FEET FIRST!” so, the call was finisjed and I approached them once back at the station and said I didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to me in front of the patient because it was rude and embarrassing. THEN the girl EMT steps in and turns it around and says they’ve been talking and think it’s ME who’s rude. 
He says that when I talk, I raise my eyebrows so it appears I have an attitude. (like what???) 
She said that because all I say is “okay,” when she tells me something, that I’m rude and stand offish. 
And because I read my book by myself in between calls, that I’m disrespecting everyone by not engaging with people. 
Fast forward again, that convo ends and I can’t hold it together and I just lose it and start hyperventilating crying LOL. She finds me and comes to talk to me. And I can quote the end of the convo exactly: 
I tell her I refuse to lessen or change myself   to make
other people comfortable. to which she replied, “you have to. you literally have to until you gain peoples respect and get into the group.” like okay????? 
The more I thought about it, the less I felt like I’m gonna fit in here. So, I emailed my boss and said I want to quit. He called me and begged me to stay because he really likes me and sees potential and the situation would be handled. 
But I can’t help to think I caused some big stir and I’m gonna be the “***y new girl who started drama.”
Would you take this job back?
****UPDATE: Also, I want to add. This entire time I have been “yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you, please; excuse me.” to everyone. The ONLY time I can truly recall getting an attitude is when I finally decided to confront the both of
them....***** I mean for crying out loud, this girl was crying on the phone I. between calls and I made sure she was okay and I didn’t feel too fond of her. But dude, I’m a nice person LOL

[amoLucia]

First off, CHANGE your screen name here. Anybody & everybody reads these posts (not member exclusive and membership is not restricted to nurses only. And lots of lurkers, too.)

Somebody who knows somebody who know somebody may have just read your post and can be exchanging info with folks you would prefer not to have learned of your distress.

You can ask the mods to help you. I strongly suggest you consider it.

[JKL33]

On 10/4/2020 at 2:06 PM, OliverOken said:

Would you take this job back?

It probably isn't a bad idea to give it a second chance.

Life lessons.

Maybe this won't appeal to you at your current point in life, but consider it anyway (please):

You have to rise above. Occasionally/sometimes it's necessary to address less-than-ideal treatment from others. But I'd say most of the time it's just their problem and it does not require me to defend myself since it really has nothing to do with me. It has to do with them and their attitude and their behavior and their habits and patterns and skills (or lack thereof).

It's hard to let ^this sink in.

Let's review the scenario:

Joe Blow is a man with poor communication skills. So he yells FEET FIRST!!

Who cares. He hasn't shamed you but rather he has looked like a JA in front of the patient and family. ??‍♀️ His problem. I would not have confronted him about it.

On 10/4/2020 at 2:06 PM, OliverOken said:

He says that when I talk, I raise my eyebrows so it appears I have an attitude. (like what???) 
She said that because all I say is “okay,” when she tells me something, that I’m rude and stand offish. 

I feel for you on this, especially if your intent was to appear receptive or eager or....maybe that's just your face and your reply when taking in new information or instructions, and that's fine. It's very unfortunate that they misjudged you.

However, I will tell you that I've seen many people do the facial expressions/reply you mention above, and they weren't being innocent about it like you were--instead it was their way of sarcastically saying, "whatever/if you say so!"

I would not have replied to her the way you did. I would've stopped right there and said something to the effect: "That sincerely was not my intention; I was just trying to be receptive/agreeable/[etc]....can you try to see how I might have had more positive intentions than you are describing?"....

You're going to come across an entire s*** ton of people with less than ideal communication patterns in your future career--beginning with patients, families and then people from every single other group with which you will interface. You yourself haven't achieved professional skills yet ?? and all of us learn more about this on the regular, even after doing it for awhile.

Bottom line, don't destroy yourself by thinking you can demand others change their behavior. You CAN'T....trust me on that if nothing else.

And you will blacken your own soul trying to put people in their place.

Work on yourself; work on being the best you can be and let others take responsibility for their own problems.

Best of luck ~?