Poor Communication Skills

[Jenbred]

Greetings everyone!

First I would like to say that this site is an invaluable asset to me to be able to come here and have my questions answered objectively and intelligently and I really do appreciate it.

My issue is this ...

I have worked in SNF for 10+ years and in the past year have been fired twice not for poor patient care issues but for having bad communication skills/and handling a situation with an irate family badly. Now, when I am filling out applications it looks so bad - so awful that no one will give me the time of day and I can't say as I blame them. When I read it I wouldn't want anything to do with me either honestly.

In my personal life, I have some serious problems such as taking care of my father who has Beurger's Disease who lives with me, in litigation with a contractor I hired to build him a handicapped accessible room/bathroom (yes..he was licensed but the foundation is structurally defective) and serious financial trouble due to all of this and now I realize it is affecting me way more than I thought.

I thought I had gotten my act together because I got a new job but last week there was a situation with an irate family and they fired me. They suspended me at the end of my shift and and the next day called me to fire me.

The week before the ADON told me to keep up the good work and I really thought I was doing better because I was not given any verbal/written counseling about my attitude/communicating.

Does anyone know if there is some sort of training for nurses where I could learn to communicate better and handle work place conflicts better so that I can improve my areas of weakness.

How do I show prospective employers that I admit my flaws and am trying to improve so I won't be a problem?

I honestly don't mean to be a jerk and I don't want this to happen again if I ever get another job ... I appreciate any advice you can offer.

Thank you!!!

[pattymac]

First of all, I commend you for recognizing you have this problem and your willingness to fix it. Unfortunately a lot of people will not take you seriously until you HAVE fixed the problem. Any classes/courses you can take will go a long way to helping you see where your weaknesses are and hopefully give you tools to improve. Something tangible, such as a completion certificate, etc. will substantially help if you attach it to your resume or give it to an interviewer.

I'm sure you will get some good advice here and I wish you all the best.

[leslie :-D]

i agree that you need to do something now...

what about anger mgmt course (if anger is the problem, not sure).

there are schools that offer adult education courses.

google the topic you need help with, i.e., communication course, and see what you can find.

bravo to you for stepping up to the plate.

wishing you only the very best.

leslie

[racing-mom4, BSN, RN]

I think it is great that you are taking responsibility for your "problem" vs blaming the family members, we all know they can be a challenge....

As far as you getting another job, I dont think you need to put the reason why you were let go on the application, just put the start and end date. If it does directly ask why you were terminated you can simply state communication difficulties. If asked I believe honesty is always 100% the best policy. You can explain to the hiring mgr that you had some trouble effectively communicating with a family member concerning XYZ. Then immediately explain that you know you should have handled it differently, and if there was one regret you had it is that you should have done ABC. Tell them that you have since met with a counselor to work on your communication skills and this is something that you are aware of and are taking steps to improve on.

People in general are a very forgiving group, and the fact that your being open and honest about your faults (everyone has faults) says alot about your character.

Best of luck---and start deep breathing and counting to ten!!!!

[cursenurse]

It may be the extreme stress that you are under that is making you handle work situations badly. I can tell you from personal experience that the problems you are dealing with at home can cause severe depression, among other mental illnesses, and that may be why you are having these work problems. I found that after seeing a therapist plus antidepressants, I was able to let alot of things that would have made me upset before just go because I really felt an inner calm. Also the times where I had to deal with problem people I have felt alot more in control of my emotions. I think that you would be better helped by seeing a therapist or psychiatrist than taking a communication class.