plz someone help me in my essay !!!!

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hi everyone . I just need someone to help me proofread my essay i'm really really really stresssssssssssed out .. ( content, grammar and punctuation will be evaluated) 300 words

the question is what is the greatest risk you have taken and what did you learn as a result of it . --- this is what i wrote :

I have taken enormous risks in my life due to the many obstacles that I had to overcome. But if I had to narrow it down to one risk, it would be the risk I took to come to the United States 8 years ago. Few people at that time were that wise to go to a very far country such as the United States especially when you do not know anybody there. Going to another to another country was always fraught with fear and danger. I had no idea what would happen to me. I kept worrying and thinking whether I will get there safe, and whether the plane might crash and I would not see my little family again. I wondered how my life would be there and how it would change because of it. I was so afraid that this experience might fail and I will go back home with nothing accomplished.

After a slightly miserable homesick start, I got back to my feet and learned the English language and went to college to achieve my dream of being a nurse. It was a different experience, a great risk and the right decision. I will never regret it, and I learned that life is full if risks, and we should have the courage to face it to change our lives. A lot of people can do extraordinary things if they take risk and if they have confidence, but yet not many people take risks. They sit and watch life goes on and on forever as it is. Like a Brazilian novelist Paulo choelho once said "The world lies in the hands of those who have the courage to dream and who take the risk of living out their dreams - each according to his or her own talent". From my own perspective coming to the United States is the greatest risk I have taken in my life, and I 'm very happy that I took this risk because it changed my life forever.

:uhoh21:

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Specializes in Psych/Rehab/Family practice/Oncology.

Hello, and welcome to the site! I want to tell you first that the folks here frown on what they call "doing someone's homework for them," and so you might not get many posts. Because of what you've gone through to pursue your dream, I just wanted to catch you first, to let you down easy. That said, I am the worst person to proof any written work, but I think your basic premise is good. I did catch one problem in your sentence re life goes on and on forever, etc. Doesn't read right to me. I commend you in what you have accomplished so far, and wish you the very best luck! If you can't get help with this, you'll still find great support from the good people on this site. :)

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i have taken enormous risks in my life due to the many obstacles that i have had to overcome. if i had to narrow it down to one risk however, it would be the risk that i took to come to the united states 8 years ago. few people at that time were wise enough to go to a country as far away as the united states, especially without knowing anybody there. going to another country has always been fraught with fear and danger. i had no idea what would happen to me. i kept worrying and wondering whether i would get there safe, and whether the plane would crash and i would never see my little family again. i wondered how my life would be there and how it would change because of it. i was so afraid that this experience might fail and i would go back home with nothing accomplished.

after a slightly miserable, homesick start, i got back to my feet and learned the english language and went to college to achieve my dream of being a nurse. it was a different experience, a great risk and the right decision. i will never regret it and i have learned that life is full if risks and we should have the courage to face them to change our lives. a lot of people can do extraordinary things if they take risks and if they have confidence but not many people take these risks. they sit and watch life go on and on forever as it is. like a brazilian novelist paulo choelho once said, "the world lies in the hands of those who have the courage to dream and who take the risk of living out their dreams - each according to his or her own talent". from my own perspective coming to the united states is the greatest risk i have taken in my life and i'm very happy that i took this risk because it changed my life forever.

hope this helps...i deleted some words, added others and changed some of the grammer and tense. its pretty good though, obviously 8 years of learning english has paid off...good for you.

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thank you guys so much for your help !! i really appreciate it

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And by the way...what nurseaboveboard said is true. Also, I see you've posted this question 3 times in less then an hour. As this is a very active site, it is easy for one post to get lost quickly but reposting over and over isn't the answer... Just be patient.

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taraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! Thkx guys !! I Got admitted !! i'm so HAPPPPPPPPPPPPY , they put me as a sophomore !!! 3 more years to go ..

thank you so muchs guys for all your help !!!!!!!

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.

Congratulations, and I wish you much luck and success!

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