After finally making the decision that I wanted to start in med/surg (med/tele actually), I was very proud of that decision. I love bedside nursing and the human component that it encompasses. It's all the other stuff that gets at me though...
When I interviewed for the position with the nurse recruiter, although my manager had already unofficially decided to hire me, the nurse recruiter asked the requisite interview questions. One was, "What is one of your greatest weaknesses?" I told him that I'm a perfectionist. He chuckled, said that's not a real weakness, and said that all nurses are perfectionists to some degree. I tried to explain further, but the interview continued...
So here I am, barely 3 months as a new grad RN, barely 3 weeks on my own, and I feel overwhelmed by my fake weakness. Let me clarify a bit...
If the night nurse spends more than 30 minutes giving me report, I start feeling anxious. If s/he goes 15 minutes longer, the anxiety sets in. :redlight:
If I don't have my 0900 meds passed by 1000, I panic. (They MUST be done by 1000. There is no room for error!)
If I don't have my assessments completed during the med pass period, I panic a bit.
If I'm not sitting down and charting my AM assessments by 1100, I freak. :flamesonb
I try to plan lunch at a time when nothing major will be occurring so my pod-mate doesn't have to worry about my patients. So I make sure all my meds are passed, no one is in pain, no procedures are scheduled (or at least no one will be taken while I'm at lunch). My pod-mate will only have to step in if something serious happens.
Fortunately, I have learned always to go to lunch, no matter what! One day, I was so busy that I didn't allow myself to go to lunch. My (wonderful) CNA asked how I'm supposed to take care of my patients if I'm not taking care of myself. So, now, I usually have lunch no later than 1400 and always have healthy snacks on hand if I do have to eat late.
Once I get back from lunch, there are usually 1300, 1400, or 1500 meds (often IVPB abx) and my reassessments. Of course, it seems like either all or none of my patients have accu-checks and pain issues -- so I'm either dealing with those all day or not all.
I don't know how, but (once I get back from lunch) it literally seems like the remaining 4-7 hours zoom by. I'm still convinced that nursing imposes a time warp of some sorts because, in my past office jobs, 8 hours seemed to drag on for-ev-er.
I try to have all my major charting (assessments, at the very least) done by 1800, so I can be totally ready for report. If I have left anything uncharted (like I&Os, documenting pain reassessments, etc.), I do it after report.
As I've just typed all that out, it seems like I have myself together pretty well. However, it's not like ANY day is EVER that organized. There are always orders that I have to double check, procedures to prepare for, meds to check on (make sure pharmacy put in the order AND sent up the meds... which they don't seem to all of the time ). So all of that described above, though it seems so cut and dry, does NOT typify a normal day simply because of all the extras. And those are the things that send my silly little GAD into overdrive. I spend every free second worrying about what's going to happen next. I feel like I spend more time worrying about what I can/should/will do for my patients that I actually spend doing those things :wtosts:
All that being said... I know I've gotten better at managing my time. To my surprise, during my last shift, I didn't get my charting done until after lunch (first time since precepting), yet I somehow managed to leave earlier than I have in over a month. Yay. That doesn't help with the anxiety though! :sasq:
I know that bedside nursing is everything BUT perfect. One of our secretaries described it as "disorganized chaos." That almost knocked me over when she said that. I thought, I MUST be in the wrong place!...
Everything is becoming more tolerable. All of my patients are safe and well-cared for. If I don't know something, I make sure to find out. I do my job very well. It's the anxiety inside that I'm not doing it perfect that eats me alive every shift, though. I've always been a perfectionist, and I don't know how to escape it!... :selfbonk:
I signed a contract with this hospital for 12 months (after precepting), so I owe them 11 months and 1 week at this point. I'm committed to sticking it out, but I'm afraid I might lose my sanity in the process. :hdvwl:
On a positive note, I have a part-time home health job lined up that should be starting in a month or so. I've heard that HH is more predictable than bedside nursing (though, of course, there are always exceptions), so I'm hoping that will provide a little more sanity to my week.
I know that was an outrageously long rant. I'm not sure if any advice can possibly help this insanity, but anyone wanna' give it a shot? :plsebeg:
I don't know if I should be worried or not but when I read your post I wondered if I accidentally stumbled across my own post. You ARE me. Lol. I like to think of my insistence on order and organization as an asset to ANY company. My boss and co-workers rely on me a lot to keep things moving smoothly and I hope that it will be as big an asset to me when I become a nurse as it is now. My organization keeps me sane when I am surrounded by utter chaos and insanity. :)
ps. "robonurse" has no feelings =P patients can feel real empathy. I think every nurse has lower threshold for certain patients.. obese incontinent patients would be near the top of my list =P i hate incontinence. I also have little patience for dementia.
I went to the doc today to get a battery of tests for the nausea ive been having >_<. trying to sort what is anxiety and physically-based.>
It appears that you are more organized than you think or give yourself credit for. I am also working on med surg/tele and am off orientation in 3 days. I trained on days but am working nights. I like to be organized also. I am one of those types that likes to make lists and cross things off as I chart them. I find that I need to "go with the flow" more when I work because you just don't know what is going to happen next all of the time-that is the nature of nursing. I've found from working on nights thus far, that I try and figure out everything I can do for the patient in one visit, before I get into room. Since it's nights, I really try to limit my visits to allow the patients to get uninterrupted rest (since they are trying to get better after all). I also get anxious/nervous like you at times, but just remind myself to take deep breaths, relax, so the patient can feel relaxed also. If you feel your anxiety is out of control, you might want to talk to a doctor. There are some great meds out there that can help, as you probably know. I speak from experience, as I am on one of those meds! Good luck!
ps. "robonurse" has no feelings =P patients can feel real empathy. I think every nurse has lower threshold for certain patients.. obese incontinent patients would be near the top of my list =P i hate incontinence. I also have little patience for dementia.
I went to the doc today to get a battery of tests for the nausea ive been having >_<. trying to sort what is anxiety and physically-based.>
good luck and take care ! =)
Yeah, on that day, I was sooo busy that I didn't have enough feelings for my patients. I lost my patience, actually! I had a few pts that I just couldn't tolerate anymore... So demanding, so pitiful, then they thank you for being so helpful and "patient" with them.
In any case... I had a great week and great patients (the other side of the pod actually!), so that helped with my sanity
It appears that you are more organized than you think or give yourself credit for. I am also working on med surg/tele and am off orientation in 3 days. I trained on days but am working nights. I like to be organized also. I am one of those types that likes to make lists and cross things off as I chart them. I find that I need to "go with the flow" more when I work because you just don't know what is going to happen next all of the time-that is the nature of nursing. I've found from working on nights thus far that I try and figure out everything I can do for the patient in one visit, before I get into room. Since it's nights, I really try to limit my visits to allow the patients to get uninterrupted rest (since they are trying to get better after all). I also get anxious/nervous like you at times, but just remind myself to take deep breaths, relax, so the patient can feel relaxed also. If you feel your anxiety is out of control, you might want to talk to a doctor. There are some great meds out there that can help, as you probably know. I speak from experience, as I am on one of those meds! Good luck![/quote']
Yesterday, I actually did my charting as I went along. Although I was late on a few meds, I actually found that helped incredibly with the flow of my day! Unfortuantely, it meant I had less time to check on my orders. It seems that to ever pro, there's con lurking around the corner... I any case, it seemed to work, so I'm going to give that a few more tries, esp. to see if I can get my meds done in time!
P.S. I have meds, and they help considebly (on most days) actually. Without them, I'd probably be a catatonic wreck! :stone
). So all of that described above, though it seems so cut and dry, does NOT typify a normal day simply because of all the extras. And those are the things that send my silly little GAD into overdrive. I spend every free second worrying about what's going to happen next. I feel like I spend more time worrying about what I can/should/will do for my patients that I actually spend doing those things :wtosts:
lainith
254 Posts
I don't know if I should be worried or not but when I read your post I wondered if I accidentally stumbled across my own post. You ARE me. Lol. I like to think of my insistence on order and organization as an asset to ANY company. My boss and co-workers rely on me a lot to keep things moving smoothly and I hope that it will be as big an asset to me when I become a nurse as it is now. My organization keeps me sane when I am surrounded by utter chaos and insanity. :)