Is it hard not to get attatched?

  1. I'm thinking that it's going to be difficult not to get attatched to the children i'm nursing. Does this happen, and how do you deal with it?

    Your help makes me smile
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    About goats'r'us

    Joined: Oct '02; Posts: 361; Likes: 197
    registered nurse


  3. by   stinkin1styear
    Do you think female nurses would get more attached than males???
  4. by   goats'r'us
    c'mon, pleas post! I need your responses for a great big assignment i have to do!!

    your help makes me dance
  5. by   kimmicoobug
    I am just a student, but will give you my opinion of working with kids. BTW, I have a four year old and a 19 month old, so this may influence my opinion. In the clinic setting, it is great. These kids are generally healthy and then you see some child with a personality disorder and I learned alot from that. However, my experiences in the hospital working med-surge and ICU, makes me think I could never do hospital pediatrics permanently. One example to illustrate, I had clinical in the ER this week. When I first got there, they said that a nine-month old with leukemia was going to come in for a blood transfusion. The parents took the child off of chemo and decided to let God decide how long the child would live. The nurse said he didn't think the child would live to the end of the month, and was only receiving transfusions at that time. The baby ended up going to another unit, and thank God, because I nearly cried just from hearing the story. I suppose I was thinking of what it would be like if one of my kids were sick and how I would feel. Once again this is my opinion of peds and everyone is different. Hopefully, I could help.
  6. by   nurs4kids
    Honestly, I don't try to "not get attached". I just try to deal with my emotions throughout..limiting according to prognosis. I have a big "no-no" in my book and that is contacting or remaining in contact with patient's and their parent's after they leave the hospital. That kinda keeps me from becoming too attached. However, there are days I leave crying..when we loose a pt (happened just this week). Normally with kids, when you DO loose one, it's after a long battle (unless you're working trauma, er or icu settings) and it's I don't have a hard time letting go if it keeps that kid from having to suffer more. The one I lost this week was quick and unexpected..that's still got my gut wrenching. I think any nurse gets attached to pt's..whether you're doing peds, adults, etc. I think men get just as attached..especially if they're father's themselves.
  7. by   canadian
    I am a peds oncology nurse...and of course you get attached. There are some of my kids that I just love and many of them will probably die. But by being attached I can be a better more caring nurse for them in the time that they have. And then if they die I cry, I cry with their families, I cry into my pillow, and I go to their funerals. But then the next day I become attached to my next kiddies.

    There are many who think that nursing is just a job, but if you will allow it, it can be more. It can fill your life! for as many days as I cry there are twice as many days that i laugh.
  8. by   NicuGal
    We just had a 15mo die in our unit 2 weeks ago...she was loved by all the nurses, ancillary staff, docs . We were her family and she loved us all. sometimes, you are very is human nature!
  9. by   CraftyLPN
    I worked in home health for peds...I know ypu are not supposed to get attached....but I do...sometimes there are homes where you are the only stability in their lives...and I know you shouldn't take that upon yourself..but you can give them the best possible care while you are there....I have even had a client who WOULD NOT GO TO her mom/dad while I was there...I felt very guilty about that..but then again..there was alot going on in her little enviroment.....
  10. by   IRISHBREAD
    i probably remember almost all of my sickest patients and the ones that died. yes, you do become attached--you go home and cry--and when my kids were little i'd go home and give them extra special tlc and be grateful that they were healthy. someone once told me that once you stop caring so much it's time to get out of nursing. i totally agree with that. i also agree that my patients have to stay in my professional life. i try not to contact parents after the patient goes home however i have gone to many wakes and funerals. pediatrics is the greatest but also probably one of the hardest specialties.
  11. by   vaughanmk
    I found that while working as an aid through school that I didn't get as attached as I would have thought. When on the surgery floor the kids were only there for a few days. There was one case that came in and out by the week. I watched him grow up. I haven't seen him in about a year but I still think of him, A LOT. I wonder how he is doing and how his family is.
  12. by   nursiemitch
    I love getting involved! i totally agree that if you lose your passion and interest in the children you are looking after, then it is time to look for alternative careers. Apathy is one of the major staff retention issues along with horizontal violence.
    If children are acutely unwell, and we dont care about them and their outcomes, who will? we are there for support of the family unit, and sometimes parents need allies while in the healthcare system
  13. by   Brita01
    I'm taking care of my first child ever in private duty. She's 17, but has the development of a little child. She's in the hospital now with respiratory problems. Boy do I miss her. I am SO attached to my sweet 'little girl'.
  14. by   cincygirlpnp
    Why is attachment a bad thing? I care very much for many of my patients because they are in and out of the hospital so often. I think being attached makes you a better nurse as you are more in-tune to the patient. Yes, there have been some children with whom I was very attached and then they died. It was hard, but I'm so thankful that I was so close to them! I would hate to think that any nurse would purposely distance him or herself from a patient because of a fear of being "too attached." In my book, attachment is a huge part of nursing.