Patient families

[morgan_porgan]

Hi! I've been a Nicu nurse for about a year and a half now and yesterday received my first patient family complaint. I know this won't be the last time this happens, but how do you all handle these situations? I got very upset and have been rethinking the situation over and over. And it's really getting under my skin. As seasoned nurses, how do you handle these situations and not let them affect you and how you look at yourself as a nurse or make you hate nursing?

[prmenrs, RN]

Families may need something or someone to focus their fear, frustration and anger. Why? Because they didn't get the experience they thought they would have surrounding the birth of their baby. They can't get mad @ the child, so they pick a nurse, any nurse. Or a doc. Or an RT, or other therapist, but most often a nurse. They see and interact with us more than any other staff member.

I think it's actually like a grief mechanism. At least, that's my theory. You see them going thru other phases of grief: denial (looking @ their micropremie on a vent, and asking "when is he going home?"; depression: crying, getting frustrated with lactation issues; you can all think of examples of this reaction. Sometimes, anger is directed @ the clerk who won't let as many family members in to visit as they would like, or arguing about other rules. But, I think one of the most common is to decide they don't like a particular nurse, and "fire her"--if s/he's not taking care of Junior, the baby will be fine.

If we (and management) can see this reaction for what it is, we'd feel a little less guilty. And, yes, I got fired quite a few times over 30 years of NICU fun.

Some brilliant Masters student ought to do a study about this. And publish!