I have learned so much for all of you on this board, and need some words of wisdom tonight.
Last week, I helped care for the very ill parent of my husband's childhood best-friend. On my drive home, I decided that (for patient confidentiality sake) it would be best if I not share what I knew with my husband. For one thing, it goes against any privacy standards, and for another, I felt it would place too much of a burden on my husband, expecting him to keep the information to himself while I wasn't able to do so.
It turned out to be a good thing, because over the weekend several members of my husband's family told us that this patient was in the hospital, and what they knew of the person's condition. I kept quiet, and didn't say anything to them, or to my husband.
Tonight, we got a phone call that this patient had died. Afterwards, I told my husband (who it turned out had suspected that I might know more than I was saying) that I had seen the patient and his/her family (and not any more than that).
Now, my husband is very angry with me. He said that I never should have kept such a secret, and that he can't believe that I didn't think I could trust him.
I still think I did the right thing, and I'm wondering how all of you would have handled a similar situation. Do you think spouses may be exempt from any/all patient confidentiality issues?
And I think I'm voluntarily sleeping on the couch tonight...
You did fine. You protected your patient's privacy. And it doesn't sound like there was enough of a personal relationship with the patient to recuse yourself from the care of her.
In the future, perhaps you could say something like, "Since I value your privacy above all other concerns, I of course would not discuss your case with anyone, including my husband. However, from a personal standpoint, I know that (Bob) would want to send his warm wishes, as do I." This might open the door for patient to say something like, "Please let Bob know we saw each other." Or something else along those lines. Or not. Either way, you have acknowledged the personal relationship and reaffirmed your professional role and obligations at the same time.
At the risk of being over simplistic, your hubby will get over it when he realizes you did the right thing. It's not about trust.
Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN
2,722 Posts
Great response, NR!