Overwhelmed ICU nurse...Need help

[TELERN23]

First of all I am an extremely anxious person. While I was in nursing school I was the one who was always worried about my test scores and always doubting myself, calling friends, worrying, annoying honestly. I will admit that I have low self esteem and have a hard time trusting and believing in myself. Something I have struggled with for awhile. I do work on it daily and pray, try and vent to my husband and Mom...This all pans out into my nursing career as well. I graduated in December with my BSN and was extremely nervous to find a job. I was overwhelmed by the reality of joblessness for new grads. By the grace of God I found a job only 2 weeks out of graduation and still feel very blessed. My unit is Tele/ICU stepdown. The patients I take care of can be very sick. This is something I never necessarily saw myself doing but you have to start somewhere. I am now at my 3 week mark of being on my own and I feel more than overwhelmed. Some shifts I go home thinking I can do it no problem, while others like last night I feel sick, I can't sleep, didn't take a break, because I am as others have said running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of being an rn, possibly hurting someone, and the fact that we live in a very letigious society. SOmething crammed into your head as a new grad....I don't know what to do. I guess I just want to know if others feel the same feelings and fear of these things and what you can do to overcome them. It is very hard to vent to others who are not in a healthcare profession and explain the struggles....Thank you and good luck to all new grads looking for jobs and others in my place :)

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

Does the worrying you do serve a purpose? You look things up on your day off, double check with other nurses, and know your policies. The other worrying, that you do at home and causes sleepless nights and nausea, does it benefit your patients? No, it doesn't. You can toss that type of worry without guilt. Make sure you take time out from worry and work, that's not a selfish act, it will actually make you stronger.

[Ace587RN, RN]

Talk to your nurse manager. She will help you