Overwhelmed and Fearful

[mylo56312]

Hi everyone,

I just need to say this out loud. Has anyone been worried about freezing up, or not remembering basic nursing knowledge?

Just a little background. I graduated in 2008 with my RN. I had to take 2 years off because of personal reasons. I started back in 2010 in LTC as a policy and procedure writer. Then I advanced to MDSs. I worked on the floor only very little, and that was maybe a medication pass. I started to get burnt out with MDSs and the tons of other administrative jobs I did, also the drive was a long distance.

My husband suggested to go to the hospital for one reason it was closer to home, and he seen that I needed a change. I got a job on Med Surg. I went through the first week of orientation and I started on the floor. After that disaster struck. I had a very difficult first week, was like a deer in headlights. Then the next week I was heading in and I got a call from my mom that my dad was being rushed to the ER and they were doing CPR on him. I had to call into work that day, and my dad passed away later that day from multiple PEs. I stayed with him till the very end while the ER doctors and nurses worked on him. (I have gained a new respect for what they do. Thank you to all that work in the ER for what you do.) I had to take a week and a half off to help get everything situated and my mom taken care of. I came back and I started like I never had that first week. I had a new preceptor every 3 days almost. I was on my 8th today. I am at the point of giving up.

I like working with the patient, and talking to them, but when it comes to my knowledge and clinical skills I feel like I lost a lot of things. I am at the end of my preceptor, but I still don't feel a little bit comfortable. I go home and cry every night thinking I am not as good as I should be or confident in what I am doing. I don't sleep hardly at all anymore. I am just scared to go back because I am fearful something is going to happen and I will freeze or that I will miss something that is important.

I really want to succeed in what I do. I have always loved nursing. I like the interaction with the patient, giving reassurance and helping them become healthier, but for the rest of it I don't know what to do. I am at a crossroads right now. I was thinking of taking a review course to refresh my knowledge, and maybe my confidence will return.

[mago8388]

Have you tried the Elsiver nursing skills videos? You should buy it and review every skill you need to brush up on. Also there are some great videos on you tube. What exactly are you having problems with?

[IMOKAY, BSN]

Ask to extend your preceptorship. What you are feeling is common, most of us felt that way for the first 6-12 months. Stick with it, ask for help, ask questions when in doubt. You will be glad a year from now that you didn't quit.