Opinions about appropriate age to start Birth control?

BrewerRN · May 23, 2011

I am a public health nurse and I am very up front and honest with both of my kids. I was also a teen mom, 19 for me. I started talking to my son about sex when he was around 14 or 15. I mean about "the uncontrollable hormone thing", not the "your body will go through changes thing". He was allowed to go on unsupervised dates at 16 and I started giving him condoms at 16. He actually came to me later on and told me when he thought he wanted to start having sex. So far, the condoms have worked because he's now 19 and was got through his first year of college without any grandkids. My daughter is 12 and I will probably follow a similar course with her. Her dad is not really happy about it because it's his "baby girl", but hormones happen. Good luck! You'll do what's right for your family. Besides, whether or not you give your daughter birth control is not going to make her decide whether or not she has sex.

sharpeimom · May 23, 2011

i grew up in a family with parents who answered every question i could ever have thought of about sex, dating, hormones, etc. willingly and sometimes in much more detail that i thought i needed. my husband, on the other hand, had parents who simply told him that s-e-x and everything surrounding it was evil and best discussed in whispers, if at all. my parents had me in their late twenties, while my husband was a menopause baby who was born when his only sibling was in college. i think herb's birth was the best birth control speech/lesson his sister ever had.

i became sexually active in college and was fitted with a diaphragm at the student health center beforehand. we were not fortunate enough to have a living baby, but my goddaughter came to

me for much advice about various subjects, with her parents' blessing. with her mom's prior knowledge and consent, i made ___ an ob/gyn appointment and went with her. i found out about a decade

later that she carried it in her purse all that time but never used it. she said just knowing that it was

there and could be used, frequently kept her from feeling she must use it.

my husband mentors two brothers ages eleven and twelve as part of a national program. he's worked with them since they were in first and second grade. their parents had the older boy when they were

14 and almost 15. they also have a third child. the live with grandma and grandpa in a 800 sq. ft. house.

also living there are an adult cousin whose wife threw him out, a 15 year old girl cousin and her boy friend who's 18, their one year old baby and she just found out she's pregnant again and due in september. :eek: grandma had a pregnancy scare about six months ago.

when is an appropriate time to initiate birth control or even talks about being sexually active as well as about birth control? the boys have heard their whole lives that men/boys take and dominate

b***hes (not women) as their male prerogative, and the 12 year old has looked forward to having erections for over a year. that attitude takes much more than a pack of condoms to overcome.

if a girl or boy grows up having self-confidence and a strong sense of self (as i did) it is much easier to resist the teen boys' and young mens' charms. i think the young cousin i mentioned above should have been given birth control as early as when she had her first period. sixth grade, maybe? not the pill, but condoms plus deprovara or comdoms and an intrauterine device. something she won't have to think about in advance. girls should be reminded often that not only is it ok to turn a boy down, but that, most likely, a baby will be the end of whatever hopes and dreams she had. her baby's father usually goes on with his life, college etc.

alcohol/drugs often play a prominent role in teen sex, so that must be addressed as well. it isn't only birth control that must be discussed or obtained for a teen or a preteen. it's only a part of the package.

nurseart · May 23, 2011

I am all about up front conversations with teens about sexuality. There *are* other reasons to start teens on birth control, such as easier periods. We talk to teens a lot that first sex is not always planned but often a "uh-oh" moment and the role of raging hormones. Either way, I'd try to express to your daughter that you want open communication.

katkonk, BSN, RN · Jun 20, 2011

I would say that you know your daughter better than anyone, and I would also ask HER what she thinks about it. Even good girls who are straight A students get pregnant, and you know the problems it creates. I would say that if she is currently the "boy-crazy" type, giggling about boys with friends or asking about when she can start dating, then you know she is looking, and thinking about boys. If she thinks they are annoying and just really could care less about them, then I would say you have a year or two. But, it really should be up to her, and encourage her to get on them PRONTO, as soon as she starts looking at boys in a sexual manner. It sounds like you have a very open and honest relationship with your child. Congratulations!