One Liners for FF

FF: "My (insert body part here) hurts from (insert nonexistent week old injury here)." Me: "So what has your mom/dad/grandma been doing it for it at home?" FF: "Nothing." Me: "Well, it seems like that's working!"

When I ask if the student mentioned whatever the complaint is today (that was going on at home) to mom/dad/whoever at home. The FF tells me no, they hadn't told anyone at home. I tell them, "if it wasn't bad enough to tell someone at home. It isn't bad enough to be out of class for it at school."

I use this a lot with my FF's but also with a lot of kids, "Keep going but listen to your body. If your body hurts during activity reduce the intensity of your activity but keep going. If the problem keeps happening, let mom or dad know." This is useful for the twisted ankles, sore knees, sprained wrists because truly if the problem persists or worsens, it should be evaluated but most of those aches and pains will improve on their own. I'd like to think that I'm giving them a life long tool for figuring out when a problem is a problem.

Student: "I don't feel well. My throat really hurts."

I look at student that comes in every day. Student appears fine and walks into the office and promptly pick up dry eraser marker and writes their name on my board.

Me: "Oh. When did it start?"

Student: "Before school. I told my mom."

Me: "What did your mom say?"

Student: "That I was fine and to get ready for school."

Me: "Your mom sounds like a smart woman."

"it will be all better before your wedding day" makes the girls giggle and run off back to class, the boys look at me like I am crazy and go on back to class.

"it will be all better before your wedding day" makes the girls giggle and run off back to class, the boys look at me like I am crazy and go on back to class.

"Pain happens."

I've been using this one a lot for all the students coming in after playing volleyball in PE, c/o forearm pain (no actually injury, arms just hurt from hitting the ball.)

So what do the temperature have to be to go home?

100

So 99.9 isn't good enough?

No, goodbye.

*Comes in with an invisible papercut

"All bleeding stops... eventually.

I left my duperduper Xray vision at home, I have no way to tell if that is broken......

I use "all bleeding eventually stops" but more often with teachers than kids. I'm in an elementary building.

But how about those nose bleeds? You would think they needed T & C 2 units RBC's....

For FF "I vomited"-ers...

If I didn't see it, you didn't do it.