One Liners for FF

For FF "I vomited"-ers...

If I didn't see it, you didn't do it.

YES!

I also say to the ones who are being dramatic: "I promise you, you will live. Haven't lost one yet!"

I sometimes will say something to the extreme like "we're just going to have to cut it off" which gets them laughing once they realize I'm joking. I often say "just because you don't feel good doesn't mean you can't stay at school" as well. I mean seriously I can't remember an entire day where my body felt perfect since I was like 10! I think some kids literally think they are dying if they don't feel good. It's so annoying!

Exactly! I tell the kids, "I have a headache, (stomach ache, etc) and I still have to be here. Children need to develop some resiliency. They feel like they ALWAYS have to feel great or they must go home. Of course, State testing is coming up and I dread the resultant anxiety, stomach aches, etc.

Oh, and another one liner I use a lot when I say "go back to class" and the student resists: "don't make me get my pom poms out. GO! GO! GO!"

When the limp or the pinched face or belly grabbing starts just after they hit the front door…..

Sorry, Honey, but the academy awards have already been given out this year.

Works for 4-6ers, and they "get it" :)

"Aww, that will feel better after it stops hurting." TOTALLY STEALING!!

For the FF that turns on the tears as soon as they hit the clinic door:

"Tears don't work in this neck of the woods"

This is another favorite of mine:

Me (after student walks up to my desk): "What's up or What's the matter?"

Student: "My arm"

Me: "Yep, you have two of them! Anything else?

Oooh yeah!

"What's wrong?"

"My nose"

"Yup you have a nose, I have one too! Want me to cut it off for you to make you look different?"

Where's your pass?