Offering help and others not accepting it

[pinkiepieRN]

I work night with a very lovely man. He's a second career nurse and he's very sweet. He has a soft, warm demeanor with patients (I work in child psych) but he cannot seem to accept when he's in over his head. We're supposed to print out forms for our respective patients every night, but he insists on printing all of them out and will actually go as far as trashing something that I've printed out because he wants to print it out himself. He's been stressed for the past couple shifts, particularly with doing admissions. I have no problem doing admissions but he always wants to do the first admission and we often only have 1 admission/night. I asked if he needed help and instead he spent 3 hours struggling with the admission paperwork and charting on Wednesday. Then we had an agitated patient at change of shift and I wanted to follow his lead, because it was his assigned patient. Kid ended up with a physical hold and seclusion. I ended up pulling the PRN because he was so flustered by the situation. I ASKED if he wanted me to pull a PRN before I finally decided that I would just pull it anyway. I ended up doing half of his documentation for the situation and still ended up leaving before him. Same thing this morning! Same patient with the same issue. I waited around, trying to help him before I pulled and gave my own meds. I looked at him before I left, having completed all my work and asked "Is there anything I can do to help you before I leave? What can I do for you?" and he continued to turn me down for help. I know that patient safety ultimately trumps someone's pride but this was a situation that could have been dealt with in multiple ways; I think I'm just more proactive and assertive with difficult situations than he is. I have NO problem asking for help, as I have NO problem offering help. At what point do you either stop offering to help or just do it yourself?

[AllOfMyWat]

You've offered. Stop offering. He doesn't want your help and there's no immediate danger. Frequently, people who keep "offering help" keep delaying things. You offered. That's all you can do.

[pinkiepieRN]

You've offered. Stop offering. He doesn't want your help and there's no immediate danger. Frequently, people who keep "offering help" keep delaying things. You offered. That's all you can do.

Thanks! I'd just rather do what needs to be done than wait for him to do something. That's what's most frustrating - it would get done if I just did it myself.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

There are just people like that. You've done your part- and generously, too. Maybe a 1:1 with him, expressing that you are sincere in your offers, that there's no judgement attached to them- but if he wants assistance, he will now need to ask. Then let it lie.

[AllOfMyWat]

Thanks! I'd just rather do what needs to be done than wait for him to do something. That's what's most frustrating - it would get done if I just did it myself.

He'll wise up or fail horribly. Step in if he's about to do harm.

He feels he has something to prove. Let him.