Who has a funny delivery story??? - page 3

I was wondering if any of you would like to share funny delivery stories...For instance, I had a patient who was wonderfl and relaxed between contractions, but who would grab me by the shirt while... Read More

  1. by   Chicklet2
    As a student i was asked if I wanted to see a baby be delivered. I said yes of course. Well I walk in and who would have thought. It's my chem and bio teachers. They were married and she was about to give birth . I was like hmmm I dont know if i should stay. I"m like where do i look at first, this is my high school teacher. She kept asking the nurses questions for her bio class. Rather humerous.
  2. by   rtoi123
    I was a BRAND new graduate and a doctor was in the room, he asked me to check behind him and to tell him what the patient was dilated and the position of the baby. So, needless to say I was already very nervous. As I was checking her I felt my bracelet slip off my wrist and of course as my luck would have it land smack dab inside her vagina. I thought I would just die!!! Of course the doctor thought it was a riot he was crying! The patient was very nice, but I was sooo very embarrassed. I NEVER wear any type of rings or bracelets on my checking hand!!!!!
  3. by   ftr_bb_catchr
    This is a personal one... not me but a friend, who while in labor and on some Stadol, thought she saw her other children in the corner, in miniature size. She said they were like GI Joe dolls and she kept trying to give them peanut butter sandwiches. I mean you don't want to laugh at a woman in labor but this was just too much. I can't do the narcotic thing myself, a dang Vicodin makes me goofy. I opted for either an epi or nothing with my babies...

    A labor coach I work with had a couple (wfe nude, husband clothed) who were being pretty intimate during labor. Well you know what Ina May says, "kissing gets them in and kissing brings them out." I think this was pushing it though.
  4. by   midwife2b
    This one is a little gross, but I still love to tell it! I was assistant head nurse with just a couple of years of L&D experience at the time.

    In the mid 1980's we had a very disorganized LDRP setup that just was not working for us. One night the ED called to say that EMS was bringing in a preterm patient who was "near crowning". I had no place to put the patient, except in one of the OR's. I asked a more experienced RN to help me because it sounded like we were going to have a baby as soon as she hit the unit.

    The EMS guys are literally running back to the OR, with one guy on the stretcher "holding the head". The experienced nurse looks at the situation, then looks again and says "What in the world are you doing? THAT'S NOT A BABY!"

    The poor paramedic was holding a rapidly growing bartholin cyst which didn't look like a babies head to me, but they had been watching it grow out and with the patients complaints of contractions, "assumed" it was a baby! The patient did not appear to be in labor either.

    So we set up a mini MASH for these paramedics and gave them all Streptomycin shots before they went back out. Talk about embaressed:imbar :imbar !!
    Of course the patient got evaluated and treated as well. She gave birth later to a term baby.
  5. by   shammy
    OMG That is too funny. Glad to hear the pt took it well.
  6. by   nursemelani
    Quote from Dayray
    I've got one, To get the full effect of this story you would really have to know me but I think it will still be funny.

    This was when I first started working PP and antipartum. I was a new grad and even though I had summoned up the courage to become the first male to work on this particular unit I would get really nervous about being a male in OB/GYN. In fact it's kind of amazing I was able to get past blushing and putting my foot in my mouth.

    Anyway, I was orienting and a nurse was trying to teach me how to do an FFN. She explained as she put the speculum in, showed me the tube and told me to be careful about keeping it sterile. As any good student should I paid very close attention and asked a few questions.

    She then turned on the exam lights and visualized the cervix. I was standing on the side of the bed and she told me to look, she was explaining something about the color but I missed it because just as I was able to visualize the cervix I realized I was falling.

    I was falling and the bed was moving I had leaned over with my hands on the side of the mattress for support. The brake was'nt on and the bed rolled under my wieght. The next thing I knew I had a very very close view of the cervix. My face was square in the middle of her legs, My legs were stretched out off the edge of the bed and my hands were stuck under my torso. I flailed a bit trying to get up but the bed just rolled more and then I wasn't able to move at all. The other nurse and patient had to help me up after putting the brake back on the bed.

    Everyone but me was laughing all I could get out was "I, I, I, I'm so sorry", then the other nurse walked me over to the mirror. I had the perfect imprint of the speculum handle on my face.

    I wanted to die, thank god the patient wasn't upset, she just kept laughing.
    Oh, Thank You for giving me such a good laugh. I have been stressed out, and now I am laughing with tears rolling down my face. Oh, I can just picture this scenario !!
  7. by   Penguinelane
    The mother was birthng on her hands and knees, and the head was out. She lifted her leg like a dog peeing, and said, "I want to see. No, really, I want to see."