nursing vs. motherhood

allnurses Guide · Feb 28, 2004

How old are you and how long have you been married?

I have a friend who got her ADN in nursing and worked for a year then started her family and quit. She lives and works on a ranch for developmentally disabled adults - one is her brother who has Down's. She gets to raise her kids and use her nursing skills. Maybe not bedside nursing but that isn't all it is cracked up to be anyway.

I stayed home with my 3 oldest kids and loved it. Had a surprise baby in my 40's and have to work part-time and refuse to work full-time and I feel very torn. Fortunately my in-laws watch my son at their ranch and it works well. They are wonderful people.

I'm talking personally here . . .my greatest wish is to be a stay-at-home mom. We are working on some solutions to get me there.

You are lucky in that you are almost finished with your ADN and don't have kids yet. You have time to make a decision.

steph

lesley_girl · Feb 28, 2004

Oh, I'm still a young'n. Only 21 and married two years, so I've got plenty of time ahead of me, but somedays I'm really torn between a career and motherhood. I want both, I really do, but I don't know if I can, or even should do it. You know what I mean?

How old are you and how long have you been married?
I have a friend who got her ADN in nursing and worked for a year then started her family and quit. She lives and works on a ranch for developmentally disabled adults - one is her brother who has Down's. She gets to raise her kids and use her nursing skills. Maybe not bedside nursing but that isn't all it is cracked up to be anyway.
I stayed home with my 3 oldest kids and loved it. Had a surprise baby in my 40's and have to work part-time and refuse to work full-time and I feel very torn. Fortunately my in-laws watch my son at their ranch and it works well. They are wonderful people.
I'm talking personally here . . .my greatest wish is to be a stay-at-home mom. We are working on some solutions to get me there.
You are lucky in that you are almost finished with your ADN and don't have kids yet. You have time to make a decision.
steph

orrnlori, RN · Feb 28, 2004

Oh - okay you asked so I'll give you my opinion, and this is from a 48 year old working mom (and also a student) of a now college age son.

GET YOUR EDUCATION!!!!!

I'm not going to insult you by saying you're still a baby yourself, but you are very young and have lots of time ahead of you. If you have a baby now, you will be sidetracked, especially if you can afford to be sidetracked. This may be fine for you, but babies are expensive (they grow up and become even more expensive young people). If you were 31 I'd say different. The higher education you get the more opportunity will come your way and the more you'll be able to provide comfortably for yourself and your family.

If the nesting urge has hit you that strongly, it won't matter what a bunch of strangers say on the internet, you'll be having a baby soon. But if you truly want the best financial foundation for yourself and your babies, get your education out of the way. You won't have a bunch of strings left hanging. Going to school (and that is usually paired with working) while you have small children yourself is a challenge. Childcare is a national issue for good reason. It's very very expensive and emotionally difficult for the mom to leave the little one(s) with someone. I speak from experience. And you asked. Good luck with whatever you choose, what ever it is, it will work out anyway. :)

Shotzie · Feb 28, 2004

I'm with Lori!

My mother is the one who convinced me to wait until I had my education before I had kids. She knew how hard it would be and I'm so glad I followed her advice. I have several friends now who are working, mothering and going to school. It's a killer and it's taking them a very long time to get through since they cannot take a full load of classes with so much responsibility at home.

At your age you have lots of time. You could get your RN, complete your BSN, be finished with your masters degree and still have kids in your mid 20's.

BadBird, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2004

Speaking from experience here, get your education, get your first divorce out of the way, get your dream job then think about kiddos. Good luck in school.

TraumaNurse · Feb 29, 2004

Get your education first! I am a dad and will be starting CRNA school in May. I had went back to school a few years ago for my BSN and had a toddler and a newborn and was working full time with full time school. It was very challenging! Now I will be starting anesthesia school and I am really worried about how much time I know I will have to spend away from my kids. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that I had gone through school before having kids. I have so many more challenges and worries not that I have a family that needs support but I am still trying to firther my own education. At 21, you can finish your BSN and masters and still have kids before you leave your 20's and with a lot less worry and difficulty!

Many people who have kids and say they will go back to school later...never do because it IS so hard. Do yourself a favor and get your own life settled first, then you will have all the time in the world to devote to your family and won't have to take time away from them to go to class, library or sit behind a textbook. Good lcuk.

Burnie · Feb 29, 2004

Get your initial schooling out of the way. Work for a year or two and see how it goes. If you want to have babies. Then is the time. I have seen too many young nurses come into the field only to leave it because it is not "what they thought it would be".

Having a child and working is difficult no matter what profession you are in. Unless you want to work as a school nurse or an office nurse, let's be real. You are going to have call time, overtime, mandatory meetings, and any number of other things come up with work. Try being at the hospital for 3 days during a snow storm because no one can get in so no one can go home.

Nursing can be a rewarding career.

But I have to tell you, I was a single mom and it was not easy. I always had to have 3 baby sitters standing by, and getting paid for standby, just in case I was called in on the spur of the moment. You can only say "no" so many times before your job goes on the line. Taking care of sick people and then going home to take care of a sick child is veerrry difficult!

You know yourself better than anyone else. You need to decide what your priorities are. And I agree, if you have been hit by the "wantababybug", you will have kids.

Good luck!