Nursing and Relationships

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Hey guys! I've been a nurse for a little over a year now and just recently went to dayshift. I also just got married. I was wondering how you dayshift nurses follow up your evening after work. I have been coming home and eating supper with my husband when I get off. I usually do not make it home til 8 pm. By the time I eat it's usually 9 pm. I absolutely hate that my husband is eating supper so late. He gets home early and waits for me. Do you guys eat with your spouses? Or do you even eat supper at all after your shift? Just curious. Also I feel like a horrible wife due to my career. I work at least 4 12 hour shifts during the week. I forgot to wash my husbands work clothes last week so he didn't get them washed. Also the house is usually a mess. I came home after taking care of an actively dying patient all day and I didn't want to talk or do anything. I just wanted to decompress and fall asleep. That seemed to make my husband feel bad. I just feel like I can't win or find a balance. Advice needed! :) thanks

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Hey guys! I've been a nurse for a little over a year now and just recently went to dayshift. I also just got married. I was wondering how you dayshift nurses follow up your evening after work. I have been coming home and eating supper with my husband when I get off. I usually do not make it home til 8 pm. By the time I eat it's usually 9 pm. I absolutely hate that my husband is eating supper so late. He gets home early and waits for me. Do you guys eat with your spouses? Or do you even eat supper at all after your shift? Just curious. Also I feel like a horrible wife due to my career. I work at least 4 12 hour shifts during the week. I forgot to wash my husbands work clothes last week so he didn't get them washed. Also the house is usually a mess. I came home after taking care of an actively dying patient all day and I didn't want to talk or do anything. I just wanted to decompress and fall asleep. That seemed to make my husband feel bad. I just feel like I can't win or find a balance. Advice needed! :) thanks

I had to laugh about the laundry comment both my husband and my 15 year old so do their own laundry and ironing. These are essential skills every man should. Now that most women perform some type of work outside the home men need to know how to do these things. The other issue is that if your husband is home earlier that you he could prepare dinner and have it waiting when you got home so you could eat together. My husband and son are required to provide dinner at least once a week and on the weekends when I work. It was tough learning curve for my husband but he finally got it.

Hppy

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

Is your husband disabled and not able to do laundry or fix himself food? Because trust me- you want to squash that "I'm the wife and it's my job" type of thinking RIGHT NOW.

And as long as he lives in the house with you- the house being a mess is BOTH of your problem- not just yours.

Color me dumbfounded to have read this post in 2017.

Also: if/when you have kids- the first time he thinks he's doing you some sort of favor by 'babysitting'- nip that in the bud!

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Me thinks we have been hit by a troll or possibly the husband of a new nurse who is feeling neglected and wanted to see if some experienced nurses would take his side.

Today is my day off and I have various chores to attend to. Still my husband and son are participating in putting the house in order. I have them well trained.

Hppy

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