Abuse support by colleagues - page 2

The ugly reality of abuse support for colleagues by colleagues rears it head too frequently, I believe, in this world of "care and compassion". It is not unique to any one entity of vocation but it... Read More

  1. by   Town & Country
    First: you were wrong.

    At this point, my head was pounding with a headache, because of everything I still had yet to finish (ie. admissions paperwork, paperwork for the hamburger situation, reviewing the MAR's, and compilation of my end of shift report). I then became frustrated because I wasn't getting anywhere. I slammed my fists down on the med cart (in which the resident was nowhere near), and loudly said to the resident, would you please stop being rude and interupting me when I am trying to explain something to someone else, I already explained to you that it is not yet time for your Tylenol.
    You NEVER slam your fists down on the med cart, or anything else. You NEVER get loud with a resident. Yes, you were overwhelmed - but these are vunerable, dependent ELDERLY people who rely on us for their safety and security. You breached that trust when you made a threatening gesture and got loud - if I was in a nursing home, your actions would have frightened me. Yes, this resident was being a pest - but that is how alot of elderly folks act at times. The fact that this person was pestering you does not justify your actions.

    During this situation nobody offered me any help, nobody even attempted to redirect the resident. They either thought that the whatever conversation they were having or that picking up dinner trays was more important than redirecting a resident or helping out.
    Did you ASK for help?!
    Nurses are not mind-readers....or psychic. If you needed help - and apparently you did, why would you think it was okay to slam your fists and get loud with a resident instead of ASKING for help???

    I would like someone to talk with who may have some insight to this type of situation. I would also like to hear some opinions about this. I admit that I was loud. But I didn't utter a curse word or belittle the resident.
    It's not what you "didn't do" it is all about WHAT YOU DID. And the fact that you are justifying what you did is disturbing.

    The state board says that I can work as an RN now because presently I have a fully valid unemcumbered license, but that if a prospective employer were to ask a question of there being anything pending against my license, they would tell them yes, which I understand.
    Don't volunteer the info about what happened. Just give the dates of employment. They may not even ask....but you still need to take responsibility, re-think your actions, and plan what you will do in the future when you are highly stressed (and I assure you, you'll get stressed-out again if you work as a nurse).
    More than likely, the reason you aren't getting job offers is because you are trying to justify what you did.
    You need to take responsibility and make Plan B. If you get a handle on what happened and vow not to let it get the best of you like that again, thn I'm sure you will be able to find a position. I wouldn't volunteer the information, though, to potential employers. Just do what you need to do, then start looking for a job.
  2. by   barefootlady
    I never thought of it, I never realized it, I never experienced it, but it took my elderly aunt telling me how fearful and threatened she felt when a nurse spoke sharply and in a short tone to her that I realized the elderly are very much more frightened and threatened by simple verbal tones than younger individuals. I try to maintain an even tone when speak to the elderly. I attempt to use simple terms and often have to repeat myself. I consider it part of the job. I am sorry you were overwhelmed, overworked, understaffed, and given no assistance. I agree, you should have asked for more assistance from the DON, when the second admit came, I would have asked her to do it or assign it to someone else. I would have called the head of the kitchen and stated a salad was not approiate and the client needed a burger or replacement sandwich, I would have let her know that staff does not eat burgers until all client needs are met and I would file a report on that. You do need to rethink your role in this matter. Reread Sunstreak's post, it is excellent and gives really great advice.