Why Women Take So Long in the Bathroom - page 2

This is what takes us so long in the bathroom: When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you... Read More

  1. by   Diary/Dairy
    Quote from zoeboboey
    I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice
    to my grief and ....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
    So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
    I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

    Next week I'm going to try hair color......Now that's funny ......
    Notttttttttt. Send this on to other ladies who need a good laugh
    Thank you Zoeboboey!!! I am laughing so hard right now that I am crying. Thanks for sharing!!
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from happysmiler89
    Absolutely awesome!!!!!! You are my hero Maybe I can use this to explain to my friends my issue with public bathrooms!!!!!
    Thank you my dear. Be my guest about how to use it.
  3. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from mfordf150
    you have no idea how hard i'm laughing right now!!!! that story about the public bathroom is so true! the only thing they left out if while you're performing a three ring circus act to pee, the little kid in with his mom in the next stall keeps trying to sneak in!! happens to me every time ! thanks for the awesome laugh!
    you're very welcome my dear. i post only what's true to our lives, and i love to laugh too. it's so good for our souls, and an excellent stress reducer, and it helps heal what ails us. very therapeutic, don't you think?:d and besides, i just loathe sitting on a wet toilet seat. it even makes me upset, doesn't it you?it's just so inconsiderate. i wonder if we should launch a campaign, and go to every public place with signs saying, "you will be fined for leaving the toilet seat wet, and we will catch you!!!! do you think that will be a good idea????after all, i am here to please, and i aim to please all s. they work much too hard to have to deal with a wet toilet seat too.
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Aug 9, '07 : Reason: An add on.
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from zoeboboey
    All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
    easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
    now...the wax.

    My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix
    dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
    painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the
    waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.

    So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

    It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax,
    you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm
    and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else)
    and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?
    I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
    figure this out.

    So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
    other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my
    genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
    ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
    around it tight and pull.

    It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can
    do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinair.

    With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the
    kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
    championship. Using the same procedure as before (hairdryer and all), I apply the one strip to the right side of my bikini line, stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)

    I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! And then, I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!

    Then, vision
    returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
    strip. Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
    spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I
    hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

    I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it! Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

    Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
    the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.

    Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

    I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

    I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

    I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do
    and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
    My head may pop off!"

    What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

    WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. I sit.

    Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
    together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt
    cold wax.

    So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

    God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
    phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has
    waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a
    very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are
    glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

    There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks
    for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. And fails miserably.

    I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

    While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the
    wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie stuff covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
    water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

    My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
    grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
    What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and ...

    The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
    friend. It's sooo painful, I but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!"

    I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

    I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice
    to my grief and ....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!
    So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
    I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

    Next week I'm going to try hair color......Now that's funny ......
    Notttttttttt. Send this on to other ladies who need a good laugh
    Cathy dear, would you like to go in business with me? I think we would make a good team. What do you say? I watched my poor daughter deal with the hair pulling tape, and she even bought an electric hair pulling machine, torturing herself terribly to get rid of the hair. And I even saw her wince a few times as she went about her business of getting rid of the hair issue. She finally gave up on it and wound up bleaching it instead. That was much less painful, and you don't even notice it on her. WTG, Marie.
  5. by   tattooednursie
    LOL love the womens rooms story and the wax story!!!!!!

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