Nurses Humor
Published Jun 28, 2003
jnette, ASN, EMT-I
4,388 Posts
*Why We Just Love Kids*...
~Naked Driver:
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
~In The Toilet Bowl:
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet bowl. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet bowl a few days ago."
~Heinz Catsup:
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
~Women's Locker Room:
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
~Meals-On- Wheels:
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
~Party Time:
Early in the evening a little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And I said, "Why not ?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
~First Week Of School:
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
~Pressed Leaf In A Bible:
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."
Good_Queen_Bess
276 Posts
LMAO! Love the one with the naked woman and the toilet bowl.
A friend of mine has a child with special needs. He has a love of fish and they were in the supermarket and everytime they went past the fish counter, he was obsessed about a large salmon laid on the ice. She got to the till and turned around, and he was missing........ she looked around for him and heard some chuckling from the fish counter. When she got there, she found him, sat amongst the ice. He was sat in the ice, fish around him, with this salmon on his lap, sat stroking it!!!!!!! You almost expect him to turn round and say, "AH! Mr Bond, I've been expecting you!"
Awwwwww... sweet lil' fella. For some reason, that really touched me. Thanx for sharing that. :)
nowplayingEDRN
799 Posts
cute....The last one was great....*chukling....Adam's underwear*
Jellen
4 Posts
Listening to my kids in the car the other day arguing (the oldest 14, and the middle 11) about what side of the body the liver was on......talking about the spleen, the intestines....all of a sudden the youngest --6-- pops up and wonder what are the "intesticles" and what side of the belly is it on? Nothing makes the 14 yr old girl blush faster...
intesticles......HARHARHARHARHARHAR!!!! :rotfl: I love it!!!!
Originally posted by Jellen ...talking about the spleen, the intestines....all of a sudden the youngest --6-- pops up and wonder what are the "intesticles" and what side of the belly is it on? Nothing makes the 14 yr old girl blush faster...
...talking about the spleen, the intestines....all of a sudden the youngest --6-- pops up and wonder what are the "intesticles" and what side of the belly is it on? Nothing makes the 14 yr old girl blush faster...
How cuuuuuuuuuuute !!!! Love it !
rnnurse2be
226 Posts
LOL....out of the mouths of babes!