during my 30 years in emergency medicine, i have seen and heard many dumb statements from patients visiting the er. however, when i relocated to a rural hospital, this patient took the "dumber than dumb" prize.
this 28 year old gentleman arrived to the ed with a laceration to his forehead and was obviously intoxicated. when i proceeded to obtain a triage h&p, he stated, “i was in woods riding my four-wheeler with the full moon in the sky, when all of a suddenly i crashed into a tree that was not there last week!”
i look straight in his eye and told him, “jack must have bought some magic beans and planted them last night” while trying to avoid choking on my gum.
to add to his level of his intelligence, he finished our session by asking, “where did jack get his beans, i need to buy some to replace the other trees from last week!”
