Nurses Humor
Published Apr 27, 2003
You are reading page 2 of Redneck Humour
jnette, ASN, EMT-I
4,388 Posts
Toooooooooo funny !!! And, boy, could I add to that list ! I live smackdab in the middle of it ! I nearly fell on the floor about the salad bowl set ! And WMart being the biggest city they've ever been to !
mri4plsn
8 Posts
absolutely hilarous just what i needed to lift my spirits since technically i am a redneck and have done many of those things ha ha
gwenith, BSN, RN
3,755 Posts
i found more!
you're a redneck if :
you think a stock tip is advice about groomin your hogs
"he needed killin" is a valid defense
you have an "elvis" jello mould
your wife owns a home made fur coat
you and your dog use the same tree
you vacuum your bed rather than change the sheet
your dog and your wallet are both on chains
a "say no to crack" sign reminds you to pull up your pants
your pc keyboard only goes up to #6
your wife keeps a spit cup on the ironing board
you like "mater samiches"
bondo is the primary color of your car
your diploma says, "from the trucking institute"
you think dom perignon is a mafia leader
you've been too drunk to fish
your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of kfc and a six pack
you say, "it's so dry, the trees are bribin the dogs"
you got your wifes phone # from a wall in a bars restroom
you borrowed dads tractor for your first date
e-i-e-i-o is how you spell farm
on your job application, under "sex", you put "as often as
possible"
you can tell your age by the number of rings in your batbtub
you use a weedwacker in your living room
your beer can collection is considred a tourist attraction in
your town
going to the bathroom at night requires shoes and a flashight
your patio set doubles for your parlor set
you painted your car with house paint
your junior prom had a daycare center
you think genitalia is an italian airline
you have more buckles than pants
you have more than 6 cousins named bubba
you carried a fishin pole into sea world
one of your kids was born on a pool table
you think safe sex is a padded headboard
you take more garbage out of the dump than you brought
your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does
you think a quarter horse is a ride outside of wal mart
your coffee table used to be a cable spool
your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive in
your halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife
the blue book value of your car depends on how much gas is in it
your dad walks you to school cause you're both in the same grade
you think duel air bags refers to your wife and your
mother-in-law
your brother-in-law is your uncle and your grandfather
you fall off the floor laughing at the above
tris
32 Posts
:roll ----sad to say I am probably related to some!!!!
Cute though.
lgoins
16 Posts
Thanks so much!! they are great!. I'm sure I met Sue Ellen once..
FROGGYLEGS, LPN
236 Posts
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
funnygirl_rn
433 Posts
Too funnnnny!
suzannasue
195 Posts
:roll :rotfl: :chuckle
heh heh..tee hee hee...oh yeah... I know these ppl....
thanks gwenith....needed a laugh today!!!! But you forgot about NASCAR being included in our wedding vows at least twice !!!!
cuzzin Sue
Sable's mom
186 Posts
how about . . . when your neighbors ARE on Jerry Springer?!?!
nowplayingEDRN
799 Posts
Or when you can drive your home away because it still has wheels on it...
When there is more than 1 car in your yard on cinder blocks!
When someone yells HOE DOWN! and your sister drops to the floor!!
When you stare at a carton of OJ cause it says CONCENTRATE!!
:roll :chuckle :roll