Redneck Humour

Nurses Humor

Published

You are reading page 2 of Redneck Humour

jnette, ASN, EMT-I

4,388 Posts

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Toooooooooo funny !!! And, boy, could I add to that list ! I live smackdab in the middle of it ! I nearly fell on the floor about the salad bowl set ! And WMart being the biggest city they've ever been to ! :p

jnette, ASN, EMT-I

4,388 Posts

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Toooooooooo funny !!! And, boy, could I add to that list ! I live smackdab in the middle of it ! I nearly fell on the floor about the salad bowl set ! And WMart being the biggest city they've ever been to ! :p

mri4plsn

8 Posts

absolutely hilarous just what i needed to lift my spirits since technically i am a redneck and have done many of those things ha ha

mri4plsn

8 Posts

absolutely hilarous just what i needed to lift my spirits since technically i am a redneck and have done many of those things ha ha

gwenith, BSN, RN

3,755 Posts

Specializes in ICU.

i found more!

you're a redneck if :

you think a stock tip is advice about groomin your hogs

"he needed killin" is a valid defense

you have an "elvis" jello mould

your wife owns a home made fur coat

you and your dog use the same tree

you vacuum your bed rather than change the sheet

your dog and your wallet are both on chains

a "say no to crack" sign reminds you to pull up your pants

your pc keyboard only goes up to #6

your wife keeps a spit cup on the ironing board

you like "mater samiches"

bondo is the primary color of your car

your diploma says, "from the trucking institute"

you think dom perignon is a mafia leader

you've been too drunk to fish

your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of kfc and a six pack

you say, "it's so dry, the trees are bribin the dogs"

you got your wifes phone # from a wall in a bars restroom

you borrowed dads tractor for your first date

e-i-e-i-o is how you spell farm

on your job application, under "sex", you put "as often as

possible"

you can tell your age by the number of rings in your batbtub

you use a weedwacker in your living room

your beer can collection is considred a tourist attraction in

your town

going to the bathroom at night requires shoes and a flashight

your patio set doubles for your parlor set

you painted your car with house paint

your junior prom had a daycare center

you think genitalia is an italian airline

you have more buckles than pants

you have more than 6 cousins named bubba

you carried a fishin pole into sea world

one of your kids was born on a pool table

you think safe sex is a padded headboard

you take more garbage out of the dump than you brought

your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does

you think a quarter horse is a ride outside of wal mart

your coffee table used to be a cable spool

your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive in

your halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife

the blue book value of your car depends on how much gas is in it

your dad walks you to school cause you're both in the same grade

you think duel air bags refers to your wife and your

mother-in-law

your brother-in-law is your uncle and your grandfather

you fall off the floor laughing at the above

tris

32 Posts

:roll ----sad to say I am probably related to some!!!!

Cute though.

lgoins

16 Posts

Thanks so much!! they are great!. I'm sure I met Sue Ellen once..

FROGGYLEGS, LPN

236 Posts

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.

You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You keep empty beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.

funnygirl_rn

433 Posts

Too funnnnny!

suzannasue

195 Posts

:roll :rotfl: :chuckle

heh heh..tee hee hee...oh yeah... I know these ppl....

thanks gwenith....needed a laugh today!!!! But you forgot about NASCAR being included in our wedding vows at least twice !!!!

cuzzin Sue

Sable's mom

186 Posts

Specializes in NICU, L&D, OB, Home Health, Management.

how about . . . when your neighbors ARE on Jerry Springer?!?!

nowplayingEDRN

799 Posts

Specializes in Step down, ICU, ER, PACU, Amb. Surg.

Or when you can drive your home away because it still has wheels on it...

When there is more than 1 car in your yard on cinder blocks!

When someone yells HOE DOWN! and your sister drops to the floor!!

When you stare at a carton of OJ cause it says CONCENTRATE!!

:roll :chuckle :roll

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