Medical Definitions

  1. Ok, yall have probably heard these before, but they made me smile.

    Artery - the study of paintings
    Barium - what's done if a patient dies
    Cat Scan - searching for kitty
    Cauterize - made eye contact with her
    Coma - a punctuation mark
    D & C - where Washington is
    Dilate - to live a long time
    Enema - not a friend
    Fester - quicker
    Fibula - a small lie
    Impotent - distinguished and well known
    Labour Pain - getting hurt at work
    Medical Staff - a doctors cane
    Morbid - a higher offer
    Nitrates - better than day rates
    Node - was aware of
    Outpatient - when a patient faints
    Post Operative - delivers the mail to the ward
    Recovery Room - a place to do upholstery
    Rectum - Damn near killed 'em
    Secretion - hiding something
    Seizure - a Roman emperor
    Tablet - a small table
    Ultrasound - very good music
    Urine - the opposite of "you're out"
    Varicose - nearby
    Vein - conceited

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    About GracefulRN

    Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 129; Likes: 5
    Staff Nurse
    Specialty: CCU


  3. by   Darlene K.
    I've heard these before too :chuckle , but they still make me laugh.
  4. by   bbarbie1
    Here's one more, though not funny (sorry). Whenever I see "discomfort" on a description of a medical test, I substitute "white knuckle pain" and that usually turns out to be about right (think flex sig).
  5. by   NurseBunky
    I've never heard these but they were hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!:chuckle
  6. by   FranEMTnurse
    Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing.
    ER: The thing on each side of your head that you hear with.
    Hemorrhoid: A male from outer space.
    Organ Transplant: What you do to your piano when you move.
    Pathological: A reasonable road to follow.