Joke Poker - Bottled Blondes - page 2

I have been toying with the idea of starting a "Joke Poker" thread. What is Joke Poker? Simply stated one person starts the thread with a joke on a particular subject and anyone can add a joke or... Read More

  1. by   gwenith
    What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? ..- "Is it mine?"

    Why do blondes drive BMW's?

    It's the only car they can spell
  2. by   MoJoeRN,C
    Why did the bottled blonde get an abortion

    Because she didn't think it was hers.

    Why do bottled blondes like for you to blow in their ears?

    To get a refill.

    Why do bottled blondes have to be burried in a triangular shaped casket?

    When you lay them down their legs spread apart.
  3. by   Shamrock
    There are 2 women carpooling to work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat. The brunette says, "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde, "So, do you see any cops?"
    The blonde replies, "Yes."
    The brunette says, "Are they behind us?"
    The blonde again replies "Yes."
    "Are they close?" asks the brunette.
    Again the blonde replies "Yes."
    The worried brunette asks, "Are they going to stop us?"
    The blondes only response is a confused "I don't know."
    The brunette says, "Well, are their lights on?"
    The blonde replies, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes."
  4. by   nakitamoon
    ,,,, me toooooo !!!! Love this thread,,,,,,,

    A bottled blond driving down a country road one day,,,,,

    Notices in the middle of a large field,,,, another bottled blond,,,, in a ROW BOAT,,,, just paddling going nowhere,,,,

    The bottled blond in the car,,,,, enraged,,,, pulled over,,,, got out of her car,,,, ran to the edge of the field,,,, stood up on the fence rail,,,,,

    Screaming at the bottled blonde in the boat,,,,, "What the heck are you doing?,,, It's BB's like you,,,, who give us all bad names,,, If I could SWIM,,,,,,, I come out there and kick your behind"
  5. by   SoonToBeNurse
    How about this one...

    How can you tell if a bottle blonde has been working at your computer?

    There is White-Out all over the computer screen!
  6. by   gwenith
    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on all channels, and a K-9 Dog squad unit was patrolling nearby, and was the first to respond.
    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, then stopped short and stared in disbelief. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
    "I come home to find all my possessions missing. I call the police to help me find them, and what do they do?
    They send me a BLIND policeman!"
  7. by   AHarri66
    :roll :roll :roll

    Q: What do you call a smart bottle blonde?

    A: A golden retriever!
  8. by   gwenith
    I think I just won the "dumb blonde" Lottery - tried to post an "Irish joke" to Shamrock and PM'd it to myself -TWICE!
  9. by   SoonToBeNurse
    How about this one...
    A bottle blonde calle the Fire Dept. and says "Hurry! come to my house...It's on fire!!!!"
    The dispatcher replies, "How do we get there?"
    Bottle Blonde replies, "DUH! What happened to your big red truck!!!"
  10. by   Jay-Jay
    Canadian Bottle Blonde

    A blonde pulls up beside a truck at a red light on a snowy winter's night, and frantically signals for the driver to roll down his window. When he does, she yells across to him, "Hi, my name is Marcia, and I just wanted to tell you, you're losing part of your load out the back of the truck!

    "Hi," calls back the truck driver, "My name is Bob, and I'm driving a salt spreader!"
  11. by   Nursemelo
    How can you tell when a bottled blond has stuffed her bras? She forgets to take the kleenex out of the box.
  12. by   gwenith
    A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the Patrol car arrived.
    My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. ...Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
    "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
    "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
    "Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on the mirror."
  13. by   rebel_red
    A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.

    Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

    The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"


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