I like googling..don't u? - page 2
Like many others on this board, google is my search engine of choice. bob... Read More
Feb 17, '03:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
Groundskeeper Willie's (The Simpsons) term for the French:
"Cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys"
Feb 18, '03Just a minor point, but are you aware that america has never won a war without outside help? NEVER
I am not entirely sure that statement is correct.
Let's look at the War of 1812 (2nd War for Independence), the Spanish-American War, the Mexican-American War, and the little known Philippine-American War, just for starters.
I can't find much mention of US allies in these conflicts. I am continuing to look though.
I will get back with a more definitive answer, or perhaps someone else will be able to find something.
Feb 18, '03I think those are "wars" we initiated to gain land. I know the Spanish -American war was., we blew up a ship in their harbor and blamed it on them to start the war. there was a article in the paper about it recently. and the mexican war, when we attacked vera cruz, wish full thinking to grab more mexican land.
Feb 18, '03I think those are "wars" we initiated to gain land. I know the Spanish -American war was., we blew up a ship in their harbor and blamed it on them to start the war.
I will only suggest you do a google search on the "wars" mentioned and see what the wars were really fought over. I will not debate it until the facts are straight.
For the "ship" that was blown up. Nobody knows. It was the USS Maine, one of the first US battleships. I will give you a site as a starting point. http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq71-1.htm
I only ask you do a decent search, and not rely on one source of info (newspaper) to base your argument on.
Feb 19, '03Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied.
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to
future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
I got this from Kevin McHugh's "And now for something entirely different" thread. It's HUMOR!!
Here's another joke :
How did the French advertise surplus military rifles after WWII? "Never been used. Dropped only once ."
Keep in mind: My grandfather was French.:kissLast edit by Hardknox on Feb 19, '03