Frog walks into a feed store and asks the clerk, "hey, got any dog food?"
"Naw, we don't carry dog food--get outta here!"
Next day, frog walks back in, same question, same response.
Clerk is getting more and more frustrated. The fourth consecutive day of the same old thing, the clerk adds, "and if you come back I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!"
Frog leaves, comes back the next day and asks, "hey, got any nails?"
"NO!!" shouts the clerk.
"Good," says the frog. "Got any dog food?"
May 18, '04
How to clean a Cat
1- Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2- Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3- Find and soothe cat as you carry him to the bathroom.
4- In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top so the cat cannot escape.
5- The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (ignore ruckus from inside toilet, the cat is enjoying this).
6- Flush 3 or 4 times, this provides power rinse which is quite effective.
7- Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8 -Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.
Sincerely yours, The Dog.
Please forward all complaints to the dog - it was her idea.
May 20, '04
there was an elderly couple watching TV when the wife decides to go to the kitchen. she asks, "do you want anything while I'm up?"
"can you get me some icecream?"
"ok, do you want some nuts and syrup on it?"
"sure, and some cool whip; but you better write this down, you have been getting forgetful lately"
"oh, posh, do you want some sprinkles and a cherry?"
"oh, that would be great; but you better write this down, it is getting complicated!"
"posh, tosh!" and off she went.
10 minutes later she returns to hand her husband a salami sandwich on rye.
he holds it up, scratches his head, lifts the lid and says, "ha!, you forgot the mustard!"
:chuckle my elderly couples love to laugh!