Chocolate is a vegatable...

Nurses Humor

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Chocolate is a Vegetable.

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge

off your appetite, and you'll eat less. If calories are an issue,

store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. (We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.

That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But

if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top

pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

MEDICAL NEWS FLASH

"Stressed" spelled backward is

"desserts."

:D :eek: :D

Here are some other facts about chocolates:

*women are 22x more likely than men to choose chocolates as a mood enhancer.

*It contains phenylethylamine, a chemical that is released in the brain when we fall in love.

*It has a blend of over 500 flavors, 2 1/2x more than any other food.

*it also contains theobromine, w/c increases alertness, concentration, and cognitive functioning.

*Chocolate contaiins magnesium, essential to manufacture serotonin.

*Chocolate boosts serotonin and endorphin levels in the brain because of the ideal fat-to-sugar ratio.

*Because of the unique chemical components, it is the ideal hormonal mood enhancer. thus it is more powerful and alot tastier than SRI's, such as PROZAC and ZOLOFT. W/c are expensive and diminish sexual response.

*50% OF ALL WOMEN SAY THEY WOULD CHOOSE CHOCOLATE OVER SEX!

....CHOW.....::::roll:

Specializes in Psych, hospice, family practice.

Re peanut butter cups- which do you prefer? The standard kind that comes 2/pack or the mini ones which statistically speaking contain MORE chocolate percentage wise, or so it seems. (minis for me. )

Also re just plain chocolate - milk or dark? I have always preferred the dark, which seems to act more quickly when I've just got to have a fix.

I love chocolate. I love to put it together with super saturated fat (butter), super refined white sugar, whole milk, vanilla and then put that on top of the chocolate I bake together with sugar and flour. I adore chocolate cake I make myself.

But there are two sides to my psyhie...the part that knows there is chocolate cake, and the part that knows there is chocolate cake.

Thats why I march into the kitchen at 0230 and eat several pieces of that fresh cake, because, if I ain't had none all day, my body will wake me up from a dead sleep to get some.

I don't care what people say. I spent years of my life undernourished and eating disordered. I kick myself now, because I missed out on all that good chocolate! It's not unusual for me to eat some form of chocolate in report everyday (7am, mind you). Breakfast of champions, I say. And I'll skip any meal, for dessert. Nothing holds a candle to my beloved chocolate (although spaghetti with lots of mushrooms and peppers comes close).

Cookies, cake, candies... I love them all. I love them so much I sell them now. Got myself a little side business. Not gonna be a nurse forever. I'm gonna open a bakery. Then, I will finally eat, sleep, and WORK chocolate!

Gotta go... hungry now :D

Heather

Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.

:roll Finally someone that has proof that I have not been wrong all these years!!!! :D And peanut butter cups ARE good for you, they have peanut butter which is a good source of protien! WOOHOO!! :roll Thank you for passing on the truth!! :cool: Now I can have my daughter make her great brownies!! :kiss

Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.

Hey Mario that cake sounds good...how about making some and sending it around to all of us chocoholics? ]:confused: :D :p :rolleyes: :chuckle :roll

Originally posted by mario_ragucci

I love chocolate. I love to put it together with super saturated fat (butter), super refined white sugar, whole milk, vanilla and then put that on top of the chocolate I bake together with sugar and flour. I adore chocolate cake I make myself.

But there are two sides to my psyhie...the part that knows there is chocolate cake, and the part that knows there is chocolate cake.

Thats why I march into the kitchen at 0230 and eat several pieces of that fresh cake, because, if I ain't had none all day, my body will wake me up from a dead sleep to get some. [/quote

Specializes in obstetrics(high risk antepartum, L/D,etc.

Chocolate-food of the Gods. My dentist says that the wax in chocolate will coat the newly cleaned teeth and prevent cavities! another benefit of CHOCOLATE! (I think my dentist is a chocolate addict just like the rest of us):) ;)

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