Nursing and dealing with death

[borinick1492]

I am working towards becoming a Registered Nurse. And I will be very honest. I've never had to deal with someone dying. And the thought of anyone in my family getting sick and dying, it has kept me up at night countless times. Yesterday I was watching 60 minutes and an old man had to tell the doctor whether or not he wanted them to help him live if he got sick again, or would he rather they let him pass on. I broke down at the dinner table. I mean, inside I just felt horrible. They were basically asking him if he wanted to live or die. He was very old and very sick yes but everyone wants to live. This broke my heart. I started crying, went to the bathroom. Had like a 10 minute crying session and gave my grandmother a hug. I was okay after that but again, it affected me. I really want to be a nurse. But how would you cope with this?

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

One has to come to terms with one's own mortality, and that of, well, everyone. There comes a point at which one no longer breaks over every death because, often, one can see that it is a release rather than something horrible.

[borinick1492]

Do nurses have to deal with a lot of death? Realistically. And does it get easier?

[KaitRN]

Yes, they do. It depends what type of nursing you go into, but with the economy he way it is nowadays, many nurses are starting off in long term care. You have to come to grips with the fact that we're all going to see the pearly gates at some point. The best way to look at it is if you have a patient who is actively dying, you need to make them as comfortable and peaceful as possible. I had never dealt with death before becoming a nurse, but I can proudly say now that I have helped several hospice patients die comfortably and with dignity. I have had families give me cards saying "Thank You for helping my Mom pass on with respect and comfort". Death is awful but it's also a part of everyone's life. If you can help a family grieve or assist a pt in dying without any pain, then you are a good nurse.... I hope that helps?

[borinick1492]

It does help. But it still saddens me. I suppose you eventually get over it.

[hefrosmiles]

Try doing some volunteer work in either a senior center or in a long term care facility. Much of the aging/elderly population has come to terms with death, both their own and that of those around them, and they may be able to give you some insight that will come in handy later on in your career and in your personal life as well.

[sewillia]

As nurse...part of your practice is dealing with life and death. There's no easy way in dealing with death of a family member or even a friend. Just being supportive to the family and the patient is the most you can do. How to be supportive...just being there,holding hands and even a hug will mean a lot to some people,but you have to maintain your Professionalism and keep it Professional.

[loriangel14, RN]

Death happens in hospitals too.

Where I work discussing code status (DNR or Full Code)is part of the admission process. Asking a patient what they wish us to do if their heart should stop is sometimes difficult. We are not always dealing with seniors at the end of a long life. But the patient has to come to grips with their mortality and the reality of their condition.Some deal with it better than others.

I have found it does get easier to deal with in time. Even when death is a blessed release for a patient that has suffered there is still a little sadness as well. I recently worked a night shift and just as I was about to go for my break a palliative patient rang and asked for a sip of water.When i went to leave she asked me if I could stay for a while so I pulled up a chair and spent an hour holding her hand.She talked to be about knowing that she going to die soon and how the days were ok but she felt afraid at night. Being able to be there for someone like that is one of my favorite parts of the job.